Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's contemporary world, an increasing number of people argue that allowing kids to make their personal preferred on everyday matter such as entertainment, clothes and food is improbably the outcome in a society of individuals who just think about their own whishes. While opposition holds a different view that it is very crucial for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. This essay will discuss both view before explaining why I believe a balanced approach is the most beneficial.

On the one hand, a growing number of people believe that children should be free for choosing somthings related to their own life bacause of freedom. To elaborate further, they argue that every kind want to choose from thie own perpective whatever the thing is such as choosing life parter or choosing a specific subject in the college time because they want freedom of mind as well as the freedom of choice. As a reuslt, many people worried about their long term effect that they will selfish person in the future and will do anything which they wishes regardless of following socieity ethics and rules regulations.

On the other hand, critics argue that childern should be free in terms of their choices because to promote freedom of life and events. To explainate on it, they think that every child have well define mindset and healthy plane for their future and not every kids will selfish in future because over the time people learn from their mistaks and improve their good habits as well as avoid detrimental actions which do not liked in the society. Therefore, children should be free from any kinds of restruction either from their parents side or from teacher side to force them to a particular things.

From my point of view, I believe that a balanced approach is very beneficial because children should need to be guided about their long term career goal such as selecting a student favorable subject or marry girl for their own choices but they also need to be restrict from such kinds of bad habits like drinking alcohol, black mailing young grils or making relationship with worng hand which is often relate to thei wishes.

In conclusion, some people worried about that allowing children from their own choices can bring selfishness and they will do anythings as they wishes. While the critics aruge that individuals learn over the time and they ignore bad habits and enhance good habits. In my view a balanced approach is more practical in this perspective.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You present a relevant opinion—that a balanced approach is best—and discuss both the concern about selfishness and the value of children making choices. However, the two views are not always explained clearly or accurately. For example, the first body paragraph shifts from everyday choices to choosing a life partner or college subject, which does not directly illustrate the issue as well as food, clothing, or entertainment would. The second view is also asserted rather than fully supported: the claim that children learn from mistakes needs a specific explanation or example. Your own position is clear in the introduction and conclusion, but the examples about alcohol and relationships are confusing and do not establish a clear boundary between appropriate guidance and excessive control. Develop each view with focused, relevant support.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two paragraphs presenting opposing views, your opinion, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers identify the stages of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because ideas are loosely connected or repeated. For instance, both body paragraphs describe children being free to choose, so the contrast between the views is not made sufficiently clear. The conclusion repeats earlier claims rather than bringing the reasoning together. Some linking phrases, including “As a result” and “Therefore,” introduce conclusions that are not clearly supported by the preceding point. Make each paragraph’s central claim explicit, then connect its explanation and example directly to that claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “balanced approach,” “long term effect,” “freedom of choice,” and “detrimental actions.” These choices show an effort to discuss consequences and parental guidance. However, the usable range is limited by frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word choice or collocation, which sometimes make meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “whishes,” “restruction,” “explainate,” and “wrong hand”; phrases such as “free for choosing” and “healthy plane for their future” are also unclear or unnatural. Repeated use of “freedom,” “choices,” and “selfish” limits precision. Learn accurate topic phrases and check spelling, word forms, and collocations; for example, use “make their own choices” rather than “make their personal preferred.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “while,” and “that,” and you use a range of sentence openings. However, control is inconsistent, and errors occur frequently enough to make several sentences difficult to follow. For example, “every child have” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “not every kids will selfish” lacks correct agreement and a verb form. In “children should need to be guided,” the modal construction is faulty, and the final sentence of the introduction contains an awkwardly joined clause. Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention, particularly in the conclusion, where two contrasting statements are joined without a clear grammatical link. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then build complex sentences with controlled clauses and consistent verb forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.