Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Those people believe that permission their children to make their person choices in everyday ( like: food, clothes and enjoyment) at the end of in a society of persons who's people thought about self wishes. In the other side some people believe that it is very necessary for kids to make the option about matter thar affect them. I believe that children should be allow that make the own wishes and it is become help and independant.

Firstly, i agree that some people believe that allowing their children to create the their self wishes in the everytime on the everything. From this own their choices he build up a strong person in the society and not depend on the other peoples. For exapmle: Children depend on self while children in his their life he jujed the everythings in anyware.

secondley: other side some people believe that it is impotanat for children to make de

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify both viewpoints in the opening and state a position: children should be allowed to make their own choices because this can help them become independent. This is relevant to the question, but the discussion is only minimally developed. The first body paragraph repeats the idea of making choices and independence, while the example about children judging things “in anyware” is unclear and does not explain its effect. The second viewpoint is introduced, but the response ends mid-sentence (“make de”), so it is not meaningfully discussed. The response also falls 96 words short of the required minimum, leaving too little space to address both views and support your opinion. Develop each side with a clear reason and a specific, explained example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening introduces the two views, and “Firstly” and “secondley” signal body points. The reader can also identify your opinion in the introduction. However, progression is difficult to follow because the first body paragraph repeats the same point rather than extending it, and the second paragraph stops before its idea is complete. Some links, such as “In the other side,” do not clearly connect the ideas, and references such as “this own their choices” are hard to interpret. Use one paragraph for each viewpoint, begin each with a clear main idea, and follow it with an explanation and example. Complete the final paragraph and use linking phrases accurately.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “everyday,” “choices,” “society,” “independent,” and “affect them,” so the general subject is recognisable. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or misspelled expressions make meaning difficult to recover. For example, “person choices,” “enjoyment,” and “self wishes” do not express the intended ideas naturally; “jujed” and “impotanat” are also difficult to understand. Repetition of “children,” “choices,” and “people” further limits precision. Build a small set of accurate topic phrases, such as “make decisions,” “develop independence,” and “consider others’ needs,” and check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer clauses, and the opening includes a contrast between the two views. However, sentence structures are often incomplete or inaccurately formed, which sometimes obscures your meaning. For instance, “permission their children to make” lacks a correctly formed verb pattern, and “I believe that children should be allow that make” has errors in the passive form and the clause that follows it. The final phrase, “it is impotanat for children to make de,” is unfinished. There is also inconsistent sentence punctuation and capitalisation, including “secondley” after a full stop. Practise complete subject–verb sentences and patterns such as “allow children to make choices” and “children should be allowed to decide.”

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