Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

How much autonomy children should be given has always been a hot topic. Some people beleive that children should be allowed to make their own decisions about matter that affect them. However, other beleive that this will lead to a society with selfish individuals who only care about their own desires. In this essay i will elaborate both views and at the end, provide my own opinion on this matter.

Individuals who believe that children making their own choices on everyday matters will lead to a selfish society think so because they believe that brian of children is not developed enough to make their own choices. They believe that childhood is the time when people learn values like discipline. If someome is not taught to be humble and discipled in their childhood, it is very unlikely that he will learn these traits later on his life. For example, individuals with a childhood without parents are more likely to be criminals later in their life. If children start making their own choices they won't learn what errors they make in their lifestyle, which can make them think that they are never wrong.

Other people who beleive that children should be able to make important decisons that affect them, provide the argument that this lets the children develop their personality. It teaches the children to make their own choices and also learn that making wrong choices can lead to regret in the future. But i completely disagree with this. Children are too underdeveloped to get any benefit from making their own choices. Instead they must be given freedom in their teenage years.

To conclude, i think that giving children the right to make their own choices is a blunder. It may lead to them picking up bad habits and becoming arrogant.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and state a clear position: you explain concerns about selfishness, then present the argument that choice can develop personality, before opposing it. However, the discussion is uneven and the reasoning is not fully developed. The claim that children without parents are more likely to become criminals is a broad generalisation and does not clearly show that everyday choices cause selfishness. Your own view—that children are too underdeveloped to benefit from choices—also needs qualification or support, especially since you later allow freedom in the teenage years. Explain which decisions children can reasonably make and why guided choice would or would not build responsibility.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. The sequence is generally easy to follow, and phrases such as “However,” “For example,” and “To conclude” signal relationships between ideas. At times, though, progression is mechanical and links between claims are not sufficiently explained. For instance, the example about children without parents follows the point about discipline, but the connection to making everyday choices is unclear. The final paragraph repeats the position rather than drawing together the discussion. Improve cohesion by making each paragraph’s main point explicit and using clearer references and explanations to connect evidence to the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of relevant vocabulary, including “autonomy,” “discipline,” “personality,” and “regret,” and the meaning is generally clear. There are also noticeable spelling and word-choice errors, such as “beleive,” “decisons,” “someome,” and “discipled,” which reduce accuracy. Some expressions are awkward or imprecise: “the brian of children” and “a childhood without parents” do not convey the intended ideas naturally, while “a blunder” is overly forceful for this discussion. Aim for accurate spelling and more precise collocations, particularly when describing children’s development and the effects of parental guidance. This would make your vocabulary more reliable and appropriate to an academic argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If someome is not taught… it is very unlikely…” and a relative clause in “decisions that affect them.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, and errors rarely prevent understanding. Some grammatical inaccuracies remain, however. For example, “matter that affect them” needs plural agreement, and “later on his life” uses an incorrect preposition and pronoun reference. Capitalisation is also inconsistent in “i” and “But i completely disagree.” Review agreement, articles, pronouns, and punctuation, while continuing to use varied sentence structures. More consistent control of these details would strengthen the accuracy of an otherwise understandable response.

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