Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that granting children to make choices on the matters that happen daily like in food, clothes and entertainment is likely to result in community of indiviuals who only cares for their own desires. While others believe that It is essential for children to make decisions in the matters that really affect them. I believe that parents should take part in the decision of their children so that they dont make mistakes in vital decisions of their life.

On the on hand, people believe that children who are allowed to make their own decisions on everday matters like choosing some kind of their favourite food, clothes and entertainment will be in result of a society of people who just take care of themselves not the others. Their concern is valid because when people just take care of their own wishes they dont aware to other people desires that what they want. It results in growth of a selfish society. Who has no value or respect of others. For example, a person named Ali was hanging out with his friend in a resturant. He ordered some food which was his favourite. He did not ask from his friend about his favourite food. So this indicates the selfishness of Ali.

On the other hand, some people believe that children should made their own decision which affects them in their whole life. For example, my sister made her own decision for marriage with ali. This decision of her life was his own and it affected her life. So children should give independence to make decisions in their lives.

While i believe that, parents should help children to make the precious decisions in their life. As the parents have very much experience from their own life so that they could better guide their children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and give a personal position: you describe the concern that children may become selfish, then argue that parents should guide them, especially on important decisions. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The restaurant anecdote illustrates one person failing to consider a friend, but it does not clearly show how everyday choices made during childhood lead to a selfish society. The marriage example shows that a decision can affect someone’s life, yet it does not explain how children should balance independence with parental guidance. Your position also shifts slightly between supporting children’s independence and saying parents should take part. Make that relationship explicit and develop each view with a more directly relevant explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph for each view, and a concluding statement of your opinion. The transitions “On the other hand” and “While I believe” help signal the change in perspective. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow. For instance, “Their concern is valid because when people just take care of their own wishes they dont aware to other people desires” is hard to connect clearly to the following claim about a selfish society. The sentence fragment “Who has no value or respect of others” also interrupts the flow. Use clearer links between claims and examples, and ensure each paragraph develops one main point in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “selfish society,” “independence,” and “decisions.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making meaning less clear. Examples include “granting children to make choices,” “in result of a society,” and “precious decisions,” where the intended meaning is not expressed naturally. Spelling errors such as “indiviuals,” “everday,” and “resturant” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise range for discussing autonomy and guidance, and check spelling and common word partnerships. This would make your argument clearer and more fluent without changing its basic ideas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a subordinate clause beginning “because” and a contrast introduced by “While.” However, control is uneven, and errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation sometimes make the reader work to understand your meaning. For example, “children should made their own decision” has an incorrect verb form, while “they dont aware to other people desires” has problems with the verb construction and sentence structure. “On the on hand” and the fragment “Who has no value or respect of others” also affect accuracy. Practise forming complete sentences and checking subject–verb patterns, articles, and punctuation, while retaining your attempts at complex structures.

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