Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is argued by many individuals that childrens' that make there own daily life decisions are more likely selfish, and, other people argued that they should be independent to make decisions about such matters that are important for them. Although, some believe that the childrens' became rude and selfish because, by giving independecy in early age make them less rely on their parents, but, I beleive that they should be allowed to make decisions for their life makes them risk taking person.

On the one hand, the people who kids became selfish by making their own decisions. Because, at the atge of adulthood they have not such experiences like thier parents had in thier lives and by not involving in their decisions make a gap between parents and kids. And in result they will only think about their lives rather than they made such decisions those will be beneficial for them, their parents and society.

On the other hand, the other group of individuals have their thinking in favor of, to made important decisions for thier life by themselves. The reason is that by making decisions by own will sharpens their ability of risk taking because the results of decisions occurs will only be liability of decisions makers. If the results, of thier decisions benefical or detrimental will be a lesson for them and I strongly agree with that because this boosts thier confidence. For instance, the successfull businessmen in the states of USA allow thier kids to made important decisions by their own which and if it resulted in failure this taught them important lesson how it affected the results and in future they will try to overcome this.

In coclusion, eventhogh making decisions by thier own make them selfish and also made a gap between them, but I beleive that they should made important decisions for their tasks and makes them risk taker in life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and state your position: you recognise concerns about selfishness and support children making decisions because this can build confidence and risk-taking. The second view is developed more clearly, especially through the example of successful businesspeople allowing their children to make decisions and learn from failure. However, the first view is less fully explained: the point about children lacking their parents’ experience and a resulting “gap” is difficult to follow, and the link to selfishness is not made explicit. Your opinion is present, but the opening and conclusion express it awkwardly, so its precise scope is not always clear. Explain each side with a clear cause-and-effect chain and make your position consistent and specific throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help signal the discussion, and the example is placed in the paragraph supporting your opinion. However, progression within sentences and paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow. For example, the first body paragraph moves from children’s limited experience to a “gap” with parents and then to decisions benefiting society without clearly connecting these points. Connectors such as “Because,” “And in result,” and repeated “but” are sometimes used mechanically or inaccurately. Use clearer topic sentences and link each explanation directly to the paragraph’s main claim; also ensure pronouns such as “they” have an unmistakable reference.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “independent,” “decisions,” “liability,” “detrimental,” and “confidence,” and you attempt to express abstract ideas about responsibility and consequences. However, the range is limited by repeated use of “decisions,” “important,” and “life,” while several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear. For instance, “make them risk taking person” and “results of decisions occurs” do not express the intended ideas naturally. Spelling errors such as “independecy,” “beleive,” “benefical,” and “coclusion” are also noticeable. Build a more accurate set of topic phrases and check spelling and word forms, especially when using less familiar vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a contrast clause beginning “Although” and conditional structures such as “If the results…”. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors frequently make the reader work to identify the intended meaning. Examples include “Although, some believe that the childrens’ became…” and “they should made important decisions,” where clause structure and verb forms are not controlled. There are also recurring problems with articles, plurals, agreement, and punctuation, as in “a risk taking person” and the comma-heavy sentence beginning “If the results…”. Practise building accurate sentences around one main idea, then add subordinate clauses only when their grammar is secure. Review past and modal verb forms, including “should make” and “would become.”

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