Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In know a days some people think that childern is to allow them to choice them decision is ownself . but in the end in the age of this they make some wronge decision .in this age they live theirlive with full of enjoyment they do not undrstand how they spend the money in unessary things . when become burdan for their parents . specialy those who are belong to poor family back ground. but some people think that it is good for childern .because they can choiseon things for own self .and the mater of food they did not like home food so every day the order fast food with out care full of their health in the end they fill ill and donot perform perfectly their regular activities of the life .and in the clothes they buy un nessary clothes withoutthinking that their parents earn facing more difficulties in this mater myopinion is that we do not spend money on un nessary things .and do not make burdon on our parrents . we think about for our parent who face so difficulties for their children .and they face difficulties for us .in my life in the age of childhood i bought some unsessary things but know i realize that it become burdon for my parens on that time i cannot realize but know i realizethat i have spend money for those things .so in this mater my opinion is that we should follow the instrustion of our parents annd understand their condition

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both views: you explain that children may make poor spending choices and describe the argument that they should choose food and clothes for themselves. Your personal position is also present, especially in the conclusion, where you say children should follow their parents’ instructions and consider their parents’ circumstances. However, the discussion is only partial. The view in favour of children making decisions is mostly presented through examples of unhealthy food and unnecessary clothes, rather than explaining the benefits of learning independence or responsibility. Your own childhood experience is relevant, but it is not developed enough to support a broader conclusion. Explain both sides more evenly and clarify when children should have choice and when parental guidance is needed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a recognisable movement from concerns about children’s choices to the opposing view, then to your opinion and personal example. However, the response is presented as one long paragraph, so the reader cannot easily distinguish the two views from your conclusion. Connections between ideas are often unclear or repetitive: several points about unnecessary spending and parents’ difficulties recur without a clear progression. Linking words such as “but,” “because,” and “so” are used, but they do not consistently show the relationship between complete ideas. Use separate paragraphs for each view and your opinion, and organise each paragraph around one main point followed by an explanation or example. Clear sentence boundaries and more precise referencing would also make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “fast food,” “health,” “parents,” and “difficulties,” and your examples make the general subject understandable. However, the range is limited and several expressions are repeated, particularly “unnecessary things” and “difficulties.” Frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word choices sometimes make the reader work to understand your meaning, as in “burdan,” “unessary,” and “instrustion.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “they live theirlive with full of enjoyment” and “in this mater.” Build a more accurate set of topic phrases and check spelling carefully. More precise wording for independence, responsibility, parental guidance, and spending would help you express the two positions clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas using clauses and reasons, for example in “because they can choose things for own self,” but sentence structures are mostly simple or joined together without clear boundaries. Errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction occur frequently, as in “children is,” “they order fast food,” and “when become burden for their parents.” The long run-on sequence makes it difficult to identify where one idea ends and another begins. There is also little evidence of controlled complex sentence patterns. Practise writing shorter complete sentences first, checking that each has a subject and verb, then add subordinate clauses with accurate forms—for example, “Although children need guidance, making some choices can help them become responsible.”

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