Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Yes in our society there is some people which allow the children to make their own choices on the everyday matters such as food, clothes and entertaiment..But I thought that it is not good for the childrens because it make the children selfish and bad wishes in the society and the society doen not give it space with such wishes.so their is disturbance take place in the society which change the moral status in the society so always think abox c ut their own wishes and become the selfish.On the other hand some people thought that it is good for the children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Yes i thought that to some extent it is good because it enable the children the to lead the on their own choice which is very imporatant that most people want.

So both are correct upto some extent.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify both views: that children’s choices may encourage selfishness and that they should decide matters affecting them. You also give a brief personal position, saying the second view is good “to some extent.” However, the discussion is only minimal: the possible effects on society are asserted rather than explained, and the benefit of children making decisions is not supported with a reason or example. The conclusion, “So both are correct upto some extent,” does not clearly resolve your own position. The response is 139 words, below the required 250 words, and 9 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop each view with explanation and a relevant example, then state your opinion clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a basic attempt at organising the two sides, using “On the other hand” to introduce the contrasting view and “So” to signal a conclusion. These markers help the reader recognise the intended structure. However, ideas are not arranged into clear, developed paragraphs, and the first section runs together as a long chain of claims about selfishness, society and moral status. The connection between these claims is difficult to follow, while “Yes” and “But” do not establish a clear progression. The final statement that both views are correct does not follow from a balanced discussion, because neither side has been explained in detail. Use separate paragraphs for each view and your opinion, and connect each reason to its explanation.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “everyday matters,” “make decisions,” “selfish,” and “moral status.” This shows an attempt to discuss children’s choices and their social effects. However, the range is basic and repetitive, with “society,” “children” and “wishes” recurring frequently. Several word choices or combinations are unclear, such as “bad wishes in the society,” “give it space,” and “disturbance take place,” which make your meaning harder to understand. Spelling errors such as “entertaiment,” “imporatant” and “doen” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise topic vocabulary and check spelling; for example, describe possible outcomes as “self-centred behaviour” or “social disruption” rather than using unclear phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example with “because” and “which,” and you also use a simple contrast structure. However, sentence structures are very limited, and frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction sometimes obscure the intended meaning. Examples include “there is some people,” “it make the children,” and “it enable the children the to lead.” The opening also contains a run-on sequence of clauses, with repeated full stops and unclear punctuation. Practise forming accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with one clear subordinate clause. Check subject–verb agreement, such as “people allow” and “it makes,” and read each sentence aloud to identify missing or repeated words.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.