Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Few people, assumption that allow the children to make their self choices on everyday matter likely, food, clothes and play these make selfish and other people think that it is currical for children to make decisions about daily life problen that they face.These days, it consume that give permission about matter. some people argue that it is positive while, other refuse and believe that it harmful for whole life. I hold the view that allow the children choice matter it negative. In these easy I will explore both side argument ad present evidance in support of my side.

To begin with, one of the aspect that people often talk about choice things by personal liking and disliks.As, If giving freedon to children cand lead to the self-centerd behavior and children not listen the parents points. For instance In Germmany, 20% children involve in wrong activities due from childhood they have freedom in all matter. Thus, children involve in wrond decsions and face problem. However, It also noted that greatly harmful for individual and the society. Therefore, one should focus on how this can have negative effect in long run.

In contrst, some people who deny these and think that allow children to make choice help in develop the children sefl-confidance and make responsible and problem solving skill. Take an example of Jappan, one study result show that

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the two positions and state your own view: “I hold the view that allow the children choice matter it negative.” This gives the response a relevant direction, and the first body paragraph attempts to explain concerns about self-centred behaviour. However, the discussion is only minimally developed. The opposing view is introduced through confidence and responsibility, but the example about Japan stops mid-sentence, so this side is not explained or supported. The Germany statistic is also asserted without showing how it proves the point. The response is 23 words below the required minimum, and the unfinished argument further limits coverage. Develop both views with clear reasons and complete, relevant examples, then restate your position in a conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction and two contrasting body paragraphs, and signposts such as “To begin with” and “In contrast” help indicate the intended progression. However, the ideas within paragraphs are difficult to follow because links between claims are often unclear. For example, “Thus, children involve in wrong decisions and face problem” does not clearly connect the unsupported statistic to the broader claim, while “However” introduces a point that seems to continue the same negative argument. The final paragraph ends abruptly, leaving the discussion incomplete. Use one clear main idea per paragraph, connect each example explicitly to that idea, and finish with a conclusion. Check that linking words express the relationship you intend.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “self-centred behavior,” “self-confidence,” and “problem solving skill,” and you use some contrastive language to discuss the two views. However, the range is limited and many spelling and word-choice errors make meaning difficult to recover, such as “currical,” “disliks,” “freedon,” and “wrond decsions.” Several phrases are also unnatural or unclear, including “choice things by personal liking” and “allow children choice matter.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. Learning topic phrases such as “make independent choices,” “develop a sense of responsibility,” and “become overly self-focused” would help you express the argument more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a reason introduced by “As” and a contrast beginning “In contrast.” However, sentence structure and basic grammatical control are inconsistent, and errors frequently make the intended meaning unclear. For example, “I hold the view that allow the children choice matter it negative” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “children not listen the parents points” has problems with verb form and sentence construction. There are also issues with articles, agreement, and punctuation, as in “one of the aspect” and the run-on opening. Practise building complete subject–verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Review articles, plural forms, and punctuation, and proofread each sentence for a clear main clause.

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