Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

INTRODUCTION:-

NOW A DAYS,PEOPLE THINK THAT GIVING CHILDREN MUCH FREEDOM MAKES THEM SELFISH AND SELF CENTRED.WHILE OTHER PEOPLE THINK THAT ALLOWING FREEDOM TO CHILDREN MAKES THEM SELF DEPENDENT AND THEY BECOME KNOWN TO WHICH AFFECT THEM.

IN MY OPINION,GIVE THE CHILDREN FREEDOM BUT WITH CHECK AND BALANCE.

BODY PARAGRAPH ONE:-

ON THE ONE HAND,ALLOWING CHILDREN TO MAKE THEIR OWN CHOICES CAN MAKE CHILDREN SELFISH.IF THEY WILL MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS AND DONT TAKE ANY DECISION OR PERMISSION BY PARENTS THEY WILL BECOME SELFISH AND SELF CENTRED.FOR EXAMPLE,IF THE CHILDREN WILL ALLOWED TO MAKE DECISION IN FOOD. THEY WILL PREFER ONLY FAST FOOD.THEY WILL NOT PREFER TO EAT HOME COOKED FOOD.WHICH WILL BE UNSAFE FOR THEIR HEALTH AND THEY WILL BECOME ILL AND IF WE WILL ALLOW THEM TO MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS IN ENTERTAINMENT THEY WILL NOT PREFER TO SRUDY AND WILL BE INTERESTED ALL TIME IN GAMES AND MOBILE PHONES.

BODY PARAGARPH 2:-

ON THE OTHER HAND,IF THE CHILDREN MAKE THE DECISIONS ABOUT WHAT AFFECTS THEM WILL BE VERY BENEFICIAL.BY THIS CHILDREN WILL BECOME SELF DEPENDENT.THEY WILL KNOW ABOUT THE MATTERS OF THE LIFE .THEY WILL BECOME SELF CONFIDENT.NOW A DAYS,IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO DEVELOP CONFIDENCE IN THE CHILDREN.BY THIS THEY HAVE NO NEED TO TAKE ANY HELP FROM ANY ONE. AND THIS ALSO IMPROVE THEIR COMMUNICATION SKILLS.THE CHILDREN THEN BECOME BETTER IN MAKING FAMILY DECISIONS.

EXAMPLE:-

I KNOW ALLOWING CHILDREN TO MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS MAKES THEM SELFISH,BUT IF A CHILDREN BALANCE THE INDEPENDENCE AND PARENTAL GUIDENCE IT WILL BE VERY BENEFICAL FOR HIM AND HE WILL BECOME KNOWN TO LIFE MATTERS.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and state a clear position: “give the children freedom but with check and balance.” The first body paragraph explains how unrestricted choices might encourage unhealthy eating or excessive gaming, while the second identifies independence, confidence and communication as benefits. These are relevant points, but they are mostly asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the claim that children “have no need to take any help” is not clearly connected to making decisions, and the final example repeats your position without illustrating it. Develop each view with a specific, realistic example and explain how parental guidance can balance children’s choices with their wellbeing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views and a concluding statement. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help signal the contrast, so the reader can follow the broad organisation. However, progression within paragraphs is limited: several benefits in the second paragraph are listed one after another without showing how they relate, and the final “Example” section functions more as a repeated conclusion than as a developed example. Some linking is mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “they will” and “by this.” Group related points, use clearer references, and make the conclusion synthesise the discussion rather than introduce another claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “selfish,” “self-confident,” “communication skills” and “family decisions,” and the meaning is generally recoverable. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repeated, especially “make their own decisions” and “selfish and self-centred.” Some word choices or forms are inaccurate or unclear, such as “self dependent,” “become known to which affect them,” and “balance the independence.” Spelling errors such as “guidence,” “benefical” and “srudy” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise expressions and check spelling; for instance, describe children as “aware of issues that affect them” rather than “known to life matters.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas using conditional clauses, as in “If they will make their own decisions,” and you include both simple statements and longer sentences. However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence boundaries frequently make the writing difficult to read. For example, “if a children balance” has incorrect agreement, while “if the children will allowed” combines an incorrect conditional form with a missing verb form. Several sentences run together without appropriate punctuation, such as the sentence about food choices and health. Practise accurate first-conditionals (“If children make…, they may…”) and divide long sentences into complete, clearly punctuated units.

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