Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is often argued that few individuals believe that allowing children to make their own decisions in their life will experience everything, others claim that making decisions will affect them. Although both views have valid arguments, I firmly believe that giving choices to make decisions for children sometimes it will effect their personality.

On the one hand, parents priority for children make better with their decisions, but allowing them to choose on everyday matters will experience from past things and learn how to choose.The main reason that children sometimes fail to choose good decisions on education, clothing that results to inspire from it. For example, if they choose better education to achieve their dreams which makes their life in better position. Moreover, selecting their own dress like style, colour make childrens happy. Therefore, our siblings can learn from it to make choices is important in everything.

On the other hand, pupil should not allow children to choose their own choices that will affect their life in some situations. I think they doesn't know which is better suits for them (such as food, education, clothing). In recent days children are mostly addicted to junk food which is not good for their health. In addition it leads to obesity, over weight. For instance, the young people are playing games in mobile phones, laptops and tabs instead of outdoor games which results in mental health problems. As a result, making decisions for their own is not good for them.

In conclusion, both views have their own merits. However, i believe that parents priority for children freedom to make decisions will effect the personality.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both views and give a personal position, so the response is relevant to the question. The examples about choosing education or clothes and the risks of junk food and excessive screen use help illustrate the topic. However, the position is not consistently clear: the opening says children’s choices may affect their personality, while the conclusion refers to parents’ priority for children’s freedom, leaving your final view difficult to interpret. Several points are also under-developed or unclear, such as how choosing education is an everyday decision and how these choices might create self-centred adults. Explain each view more directly and support your opinion with a clear, consistent reason. The response meets the required length; eight words copied from the task prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Phrases such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the broad organisation easy to follow. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven, and some links between ideas are unclear. For example, the first body paragraph moves from parents’ decisions to education, clothing, and siblings without clearly explaining how these points connect. The conclusion also does not clearly resolve the contrast established in the essay. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main claim, then develop it in a logical sequence; use linking expressions to show relationships rather than simply mark sections.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “everyday matters,” “addicted to junk food,” “obesity,” and “mental health problems.” These choices show an attempt to discuss both children’s independence and possible consequences. However, the range is limited, and several inaccurate or unnatural phrases make ideas harder to understand, such as “will experience from past things,” “choose good decisions,” and “parents priority for children.” There are also word-form and spelling issues, including “childrens” and “over weight.” Aim for more precise collocations and avoid repeating general words such as “choices” and “decisions.” For instance, describe children as “learning from the consequences of their choices” and parents as “setting appropriate boundaries.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “Although,” “if,” and “which.” This gives the response some structural variety. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, and sentence construction sometimes obscure meaning. Examples include “they doesn’t know,” “children sometimes fail to choose good decisions,” and “giving choices to make decisions for children sometimes it will effect their personality.” Some sentences also lack a clear grammatical connection between clauses, as in “The main reason that children sometimes fail to choose good decisions on education, clothing that results to inspire from it.” Practise building complete sentences with one clear main clause, check subject–verb agreement, and use punctuation to separate ideas.

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