Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is believed that if children can allow to make their own wishes to fulfil, society will lean towards individual who only think about their own wishes. However, some other believed that children should only make choices when it truly affects them. I believe the latter case would be a right approach to a society because in this way children can truly shape their values by respecting others in certain situations.

Firstly, children develop their cognitive as they grow younger. They likely learn about different choices that they can make and develop subconsciously choosing decision which only suits their particular need. Slowly, as time passes by their ideology depict a selfishness in other words "my preferences first" approach, which, in terms of society shows a pictura that individual only believe their own values, a self contained behaviour. For example, It is good practice to provide remote of tv to elder person in the room. From this child can show courtesy towards elder people.

Secondly, If children learn at an early age that choose those decisions that affect their regular life, can make a society a sense of connectivity in terms making a decision. Therefore, they sometimes select those choice that supports other people on society. This approach seems more elegant to me because children can develop by this means value wise awarness on others. For instance, If adults are talking in a meeting, children should listen what they are saying and not provide any opinion until they say.

In conclusion, children should choose those decision which they feel safe and considering neighbouring values as well at an earlier age. However, If the choices affect them they should lean towards those which feel positive.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You present a position—that children should make choices while considering others—and include examples, so the response engages with the topic. However, the two views are not fully represented: the first paragraph describes children becoming selfish, but does not clearly explain why supporters favour children choosing everyday matters; the second view is also framed as making choices only when they affect children. The task asks you to discuss both positions, and this distinction needs clearer treatment. Your examples about giving the television remote to an older person and listening during adults’ meetings are relevant to courtesy, but their connection to children’s decision-making is not fully explained. Develop each side with a reason and a more direct example, then state your opinion consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “Firstly” and “Secondly,” and a conclusion. This gives the reader a basic route through your ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow. For example, the first body paragraph moves from cognitive development to selfishness and then to the television remote without clearly explaining the links. In the second, “Therefore” introduces a result that is not fully established by the preceding sentence. Some references, such as “this approach” and “those decisions,” are also unclear. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main point, and connect each example explicitly to that point. This would make the organisation more coherent and reduce reliance on formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt vocabulary suited to discussing social behaviour, including “courtesy,” “self-contained behaviour,” “connectivity,” and “values.” These choices show an effort to express abstract ideas, but several phrases are inaccurate or unnatural and sometimes make your meaning hard to interpret. For instance, “make their own wishes to fulfil” does not clearly express making choices, while “a society a sense of connectivity” is not a natural collocation. “Their ideology depict a selfishness” also uses an unsuitable word form and phrasing. Aim for precise, familiar expressions before reaching for abstract vocabulary, and check collocations in context. More accurate wording such as “develop a sense of consideration for others” would communicate your ideas more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses beginning with “if” and “because,” and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, errors occur frequently in sentence construction and agreement, and some sentences are difficult to understand. Examples include “if children can allow to make,” “some other believed,” and “their ideology depict,” where verb forms or agreement are incorrect. The sentence beginning “If children learn at an early age that choose those decisions…” is also missing a clear grammatical subject and structure. Review verb patterns after “allow,” subject–verb agreement, and how to build conditional sentences. Shorter, carefully checked sentences would improve accuracy while you continue practising complex structures.

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