Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

To raise a child is the biggest responsibility of parents nowadays and also in the past, in old days parents were strict and children also obeyed their parents but now situation is different than the past, nowadays the kids want to be dependent and they want to get rid of their parent's instruction as soon as they can, leaving kids on their own choices is beneficial also in some cases, I will give my opinion in this essay.

From my perspective parents should allow their children to make choices about the things that has an effect on their lifestyle however they should also keep check and balance on what they are choosing, whether they are doing the right thing or not, these small choices raise their confidence and prepare them to make bigger decesions in life, by giving them authority to make choices parents should also teach them to be supportive and cooperating with others in the society therefore they will not become selfish and they will help others as well.

Some people have a opinion that if children are allow to make their own choices they will become the indivisuals who only think about themselves, this is the opinion of people who are brought up by strict parents because they are not given the opportunity to decide for them so they develope a mentality that giving authority to children makes them selfish but if we teach kids to be kind and supportive then they will be confident as well as cooperative.

In order to sum up this conservation I have to say that we should allow our children to make choices in the matters that effects their lives but we should also check their activities as well.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is identifiable: you support children making choices, provided parents guide them, and you explain that this can build confidence and prepare them for larger decisions. You also present the opposing concern that children may become self-centred, so both views are addressed. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The opposing view is attributed to people raised by strict parents, but this claim is not explained or supported with an example, and the essay does not distinguish clearly between everyday choices and decisions with wider consequences. To strengthen the response, explain each view more fully and add a specific example showing how parental guidance can help children consider other people’s needs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to your view, the opposing view, and a conclusion. Paragraphing helps separate these stages, and linking expressions such as “From my perspective” and “In order to sum up” signal the direction of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several ideas are joined in long sentences, especially in the opening and second paragraphs. Some connections are also mechanical or unclear: “therefore” introduces a result without fully showing how the ideas connect, while “this opinion” refers back to a broad claim. Use shorter sentences to separate claims and explanations, and make references explicit so readers can follow how each point supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “confidence,” “authority,” “selfish,” and “cooperative.” These terms help express your view that children can gain independence without becoming inconsiderate. However, the range is limited and some word choices or collocations are noticeably inaccurate, which occasionally makes the meaning less natural. For example, “get rid of their parent's instruction” and “keep check and balance” do not express the intended ideas idiomatically; “decesions,” “indivisuals,” and “conservation” also show spelling errors. Build a more precise vocabulary for parenting and decision-making, and check spelling and common word partnerships during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt complex sentences to connect causes and results, and you use both present and past forms. However, long sentences often contain several clauses joined mainly by commas, as in the opening, making punctuation and sentence boundaries difficult to control. There are also recurring errors in agreement and verb forms: “the things that has an effect” should use a plural verb, and “if children are allow” needs a passive form. Other examples include “a opinion” and “the matters that effects their lives,” which show article and subject–verb agreement problems. Practise building accurate complex sentences, but divide sentences when they contain several separate points; then check articles, agreement, and verb forms.

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