Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

To commence with, in my way of thinking our every decision shapes our life in some matter or another in which our choices of action plays a major role. Some people belive that allowing childrens to make small decisions of their life like choosing from food, clothes or even entertainment in the end result in them to build up a selfish prefrence for liking rather than thinking for whole society. Whereas some people argue in the fact that it is vital for allowing minors that could affect that.

Firstly if we go with, giving choice to small child for selecting for themselves may could end up selfeshiness. i can't totally agree with this because it in the end totally depend from person to person bonding for society. For epitome, someone who was come from a privilged background additionaly well attached with it's local society will definatly contribute in help of community and it's people; On the paradoxical side if we remove these certain conditions, reuslts would be completly diffrent.

Apart from that some group of people also belive in theory giving choice help childrens in their later life. I reckon that, it is a crucial factor for every teenager. To examplify this :- asking teen what they want to pursue in higher studies as per their intrests and goals will be fruitfull for their future.

Eventually i would like to conclude with people supporting the idea of giving choice to childrens which affects them in their later future, because it not only achive or pursue as per their choice but also help them to retain more focus in that particular field of choice.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and make your preference for children having a say clear in the conclusion. The example about teenagers choosing higher studies is relevant and shows how decisions can support motivation and future goals. However, the first view is only briefly considered: you say selfishness depends on a person’s background and community ties, but do not explain how everyday choices might encourage self-centred behaviour or how this concern could be addressed. The second view is also developed mainly through one example. Your position is present, but it would be clearer if stated directly in the introduction and maintained consistently. Explain each side more fully and connect your examples explicitly to the question of children’s everyday choices and their effects on society.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an identifiable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a concluding opinion. Linking expressions such as “Firstly,” “Apart from that,” and “Eventually” help signal movement between points. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow, particularly in the first body paragraph, where the claim about selfishness shifts quickly to background and community ties without a clear explanation of the connection. Some transitions are awkward or repetitive, and the conclusion introduces little beyond the earlier point about future choices. Use clearer topic sentences, develop one idea at a time, and make references explicit—for example, clarify what “that” refers to in the introduction. This would make the overall argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of vocabulary related to the topic, including “selfish,” “community,” “crucial factor,” “interests,” and “goals.” These choices show an effort to express abstract ideas as well as give examples. However, the range is limited by repeated general wording such as “choice” and “people,” while several inaccurate or misspelled forms make meaning less clear: “belive,” “selfeshiness,” “privilged,” and “diffrent.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “in the fact that” and “for epitome.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise terms for independence, responsibility, and social consideration would help you explain both sides with greater clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a conditional construction in “if we remove these certain conditions, results would be completely different.” However, complex sentences are often difficult to control, and errors occur frequently enough to interrupt the reader. For example, “our choices of action plays” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “allowing children to make small decisions … result in them to build up” has problems with verb form and sentence construction. There are also issues with articles, plurals, and punctuation, as in “a small child” and the inconsistent capitalisation after full stops. Practise building shorter, accurate sentences first, then combine ideas using controlled clauses. Proofreading for agreement and verb patterns would improve clarity.

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