Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some individuals agree that permit childrens to make their own choices on everyday affair is likely to result in a society of peoples who only understand about their own wishes.other individuals believe that it is essential for childrens to make decisions about concerns that affect them.I believe,children should be allowed to have their own choices because this helps them become independent.

on the one hand,individuals who believe that allowing chindren to make their own choice in everyday matters may make them selfish they are also right.Because selfishness is not good to live their life happily.In this world,every human being is depend on another one for their needs.we have to share the things with another person.e.g if some one is earning money he has to give money to another person to food hisself and for living.childrens who buy their own food ,dresses and some toys,games e.t.c they do not share it with another children .they think this is mine and i will not give it to another person.when they grown up this habitsl remain in their nature and they believe everythings belongs to them.Moreover, they cannot understand the financial situation of their parents also.if they like something ,they force their parents to bring it for them.And the parents suffer in this situation because they cannot buy expensive products again and again,specially for another kid.

on the other hand ,some who agree children should be allowed to make their own choices for independence they are also right.Mostly childrens they donot have confidence to talk some one and how to purchase something in the market.Theor comfidemce will be shetter.In my opinion,it is essential for childrens to have their own choice because they will develop self esteem.they will raise their confidence.They will learn from theor mistakes as well.For example,childrens who buy some food in a resturant,firstly he will remive his hesitation and secondly it increases his confidence infront of public and he will be better in speaking.His speaking skills will rise.

in conclusion,although giving too much freedom may make them selfish.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You present a relevant opinion—that children should make choices because this can build independence—and discuss both views. The first side is supported with examples about sharing, children treating possessions as exclusively theirs, and pressure on parents to buy expensive items. The second side includes confidence, self-esteem and learning from mistakes. However, the discussion is uneven: the claim that everyday choices lead to selfishness is asserted broadly, and the restaurant example mainly illustrates confidence rather than explaining how children learn to make sound decisions. The conclusion begins with “although giving too much freedom may make them selfish” but does not complete the contrast or restate your position. Develop each view with clearer reasoning and finish with a complete, decisive conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph for each view, and a concluding section. “On the one hand” and “on the other hand” help signal the two sides, and examples generally follow the points they illustrate. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several ideas are joined in long, loosely connected sequences. For instance, the discussion moves from sharing to dependence between people, then to children’s purchases and parental finances without clearly showing how each point supports the main claim. Some linking is repetitive or mechanical, and the final sentence is incomplete, leaving the essay without a clear ending. Use shorter, clearly focused paragraphs and connect each example explicitly to its point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “independent,” “self-esteem,” “confidence,” “financial situation” and “expensive products.” These terms help communicate the main ideas, and there are attempts to express concepts beyond basic everyday language. However, the range is limited and many word-choice, spelling and collocation errors make parts of the response difficult to understand, such as “their own choice,” “confidence will be shetter,” and “remive his hesitation.” Repetition of “children,” “choices” and “confidence” also limits flexibility. Aim to learn accurate phrases as units and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise expressions for decision-making, responsibility and sharing would help you explain the two views more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer structures, including a conditional example beginning “if some one is earning money” and a contrast introduced by “although.” This shows an effort to vary sentence forms. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, plurals and punctuation can make the reader work to understand the meaning. Examples include “every human being is depend,” “when they grown up,” and “childrens who buy … they do not share it.” Sentence boundaries are also unclear in places, particularly where a full stop is followed immediately by a new sentence. Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and use shorter sentences until you can control longer clauses reliably.

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