Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is often argue by some people allowing children to make their own decisions is individuals while some other said it's affect in their decision. In my opinion when children do everything on their hand then this habit cause big problem in their young age because they stay advice of other people's they do everything that they want. Last year when i was at home i saw my cousin leaved their house because his father asked him to wear suit's and he got angry on this and leaved his house. Some time children eat too much fast food who is unhealthy for their health and in results they suffered in bad diseases. Before 5 years Japan found many health problems because of unhealthy food of students. Children also do entertainment activities all the day and away from their houses which some times trouble for him. Because they involved all the in activities and leave their study.

And also it's helpful sometimes for children if they decisions according to plan. Decisions also help for student in making confidence. Sometimes students need to do these good decisions on own self because they know which dressing is good for them and they wear dress according to this. My one cousin improve his personality. He has great of dressing sense. And Also some children know which foods are healthy for their health at this they eat healthy food like fruit's, vitamins foods etc. And also entertainment is important for children if they entertain from good activities and these helpful for their health and for their body

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and give a personal position: you warn that unrestricted choices can cause problems, while also noting that decisions can build confidence and help children choose suitable clothes and food. The examples about your cousin and healthy eating are relevant, but their connection to the wider question is not always explained; the reference to Japan, for instance, is unclear and unsupported. The discussion of children’s entertainment and study is also brief. Your position is present, but it is not consistently developed into a clear argument about how much freedom children should have. To strengthen the response, explain both sides more fully and conclude with a precise view, such as allowing age-appropriate choices while setting limits.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: the first paragraph mainly presents concerns about children making choices, and the second gives benefits, so the reader can identify the two sides. However, progression within and between ideas is limited. Several points are placed together without clear explanation, and the second paragraph ends without a concluding statement that brings your position together. Linking phrases such as “And also,” “Sometimes,” and “Because” are repeated or used mechanically; the opening sentence is also difficult to follow, making the relationship between the views unclear. Use a clear introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion. Within paragraphs, connect each example explicitly to the point it supports and use referencing such as “this freedom” or “such choices” clearly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “decisions,” “confidence,” “healthy food,” and “entertainment,” and the examples make your meaning partly accessible. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the reader work to understand your point. For example, “do everything on their hand,” “stay advice of other people's,” and “great of dressing sense” do not express the intended ideas clearly. Repetition of “children,” “decisions,” and “health” also limits flexibility. Build a more precise set of phrases for the topic, such as “make age-appropriate choices,” “become self-centred,” and “develop independence,” and check collocations and word forms when revising.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and use basic connectors, but sentence structures are mostly simple or are joined in ways that become difficult to follow. Errors occur frequently in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “It is often argue” and “my cousin leaved” show problems with verb forms, while “this habit cause” lacks agreement. The sentence beginning “Some time children eat too much fast food” also contains unclear grammatical relationships, and several sentences run together without effective punctuation. These errors can make meaning difficult to follow. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine related ideas using controlled clauses—for example, “When children choose their own food, they can learn to make healthier decisions.”

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