Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

People hold different views regarding choices. In today's rapidly changing world, many people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on daily life just like food, clothes and entertainment is likely to result in a community of people that they think about their own wishes, While others argue that it is significant for young people to make decisions about matters that affect them. From my standpoint, young adults allow their kids to make their own choices in their daily life and included education but also include some restriction and proper guidance.

On the one hand, there are several drawbacks that faced if parents are totally allow their children to make their own choices. Firstly, kids do not realize the price of money and they waste as they wich. Secondly, children are become selfish and in the early age they may take wrong action in their life. For instance, many european countries included finland they give their children as open handed even in education sector. Including Japan, many youngsters live in society in own choice. Moreover, they want to make picnic and some other small parties with their co-workers

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You introduce both viewpoints and state a position: children should make everyday choices, with restrictions and guidance. However, the response addresses the task only minimally. The opposing view is mentioned, but the reasons are brief and unclear; for example, the claims that children may waste money or become selfish are not explained with relevant support. The view that children should decide matters affecting them is not developed, and the response ends without a conclusion. The examples about Finland and Japan are vague and do not clearly demonstrate the claims. The response contains 161 words, below the required 250; 29 words copied from the prompt are excluded from this count. Develop both views, support them with specific examples, and clearly restate your opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response by introducing the topic and then using “On the one hand” to begin a supporting paragraph. This gives the reader some indication of the intended structure. However, ideas are not arranged coherently overall: the paragraph moves from money and selfishness to examples about Finland and Japan, then to picnics, without explaining how these points connect. The second viewpoint is not given its own developed section, and there is no concluding paragraph. Some linking expressions, such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Moreover,” are present, but they do not create a clear progression. Use separate paragraphs for each view and your opinion, and make each example directly support the point before moving on.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough basic vocabulary to communicate the general topic, including “choices,” “drawbacks,” “decisions,” and “guidance.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “the price of money” and “open handed,” but these are inaccurate or unnatural and make parts of the meaning difficult to follow. Other choices, including “young adults” for children and “co-workers” in the context of children’s parties, are imprecise. Spelling errors such as “wich” and “european” also reduce accuracy. The range remains limited and some errors cause difficulty for the reader, although the main subject is recognisable. Build a more precise vocabulary for parenting and decision-making, and check collocations and spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast introduced by “While others argue” and a sentence beginning “For instance.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to understand. For example, “many people believe that allowing children … is likely …, While others argue” incorrectly joins the contrast and capitalises “While” mid-sentence. “There are several drawbacks that faced” lacks a correctly formed verb phrase, while “children are become selfish” combines incompatible verb forms. There are also problems with agreement and sentence construction in “young adults allow their kids … and included education.” Practise complete, well-formed clauses and check verb forms, agreement, and punctuation when joining contrasting ideas.

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