Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, children's independence has become a subject of debate. While some believe that making their own choices encourages selfishness, others argue that it is essential for children's development. This essay will discuss both views before explaining why I believe children should make decisions within reasonable parental limits.

On the one hand, some people believe that giving too much freedom to their children may lead towards the society of self-centered individuals who only care about themselves. Children with independence to satisfy their own needs and personal wishes may struggle to understand others needs and feelings. For instance, a child who choose to eat sweets rather than healthy meals, may face the consequences like diabetes and other form of diseases. Similarly, unrestricted access to entertainment can affect their studies and daily routines. In result, parents should give them guidance teach them to consider the outcomes of their own choices rather than focusing on their desires.

On the other hand, allowing children to make their own decision is very essential to their personal development. It helps them to become independent, develop critical thinking skills, and understand the results of their actions. For example, when children choose their hobbies or fashion, they learn to express their feelings and emotions taking the responsibility for their choices. These experiences can also build confidence and prepare them for future. Therefore, giving children reasonable freedom, with appropriate parental guidance, can help them become responsible and independent individuals.

In conclusion, although unnecessary freedom may encourage selfishness, I believe children should make their own decisions under reasonable parental guidance to develop independence and to learn taking responsibility.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both views and state a clear position: children should make decisions “within reasonable parental limits.” The discussion of possible selfishness is relevant, and the examples about food and entertainment help explain why guidance may be needed. Your account of the benefits is also clear, particularly the links between choosing hobbies or clothes, confidence, and responsibility. This meets the task well, but the two sides are not equally developed: the first paragraph focuses more on health and study consequences than on how unrestricted choice might create self-centred attitudes. The examples are plausible but general. To strengthen the response, explain more directly how everyday decisions can affect children’s consideration of other people, and extend one example on each side.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear, effective structure: an introduction presents the debate and your view, separate body paragraphs discuss each position, and the conclusion restates your opinion. Progression is easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” guide the reader through the argument. Linking within sentences is also generally clear, as in the sequence from making choices to developing critical thinking and responsibility. Some connections are less smooth, however: “In result” is an awkward transition, and “parents should give them guidance teach them” lacks a clear link between the two actions. Use a more natural connector and punctuate or restructure that sentence to keep the otherwise logical flow consistent.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “self-centered individuals,” “critical thinking skills,” “parental guidance,” and “responsibility.” These choices communicate the main ideas clearly, and some phrases show an attempt to express abstract concepts. However, several word-choice and collocation problems reduce precision: “lead towards the society” is unnatural, “others needs” is incorrect in form, and “other form of diseases” is imprecise. Repetition of “choices,” “children,” and “freedom” also limits flexibility. Aim for more natural collocations and vary key terms where appropriate—for example, use “lead to a society,” “other people’s needs,” and “forms of illness.” This would make the vocabulary more accurate and fluent without changing your clear meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex structures, including a concession in the introduction (“While some believe…”) and a conditional example (“when children choose…”). Most sentences remain understandable, and the argument is not obscured by grammatical errors. Some errors persist in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “a child who choose” should have a singular verb, while “allowing children to make their own decision is” needs a plural noun after “their own.” In “parents should give them guidance teach them,” the actions need to be joined or separated with punctuation. The final phrase “learn taking responsibility” also needs a grammatical pattern such as “learn to take responsibility.” Review these patterns and proofread for agreement and sentence boundaries.

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