Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Freedom of choice is a nessary thing for every individuals.Large number of people consider that providing choice of decision for diffrent aspacts to childrend will be lead to thinking about oneself.While other think that this kind of freedom is very imporatnt for their personal growth.Personaly, my opnion is that teenagers qeuire freedom of choice for self growth.

Those who argue that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes.For example, in japan parents allow their kids to creat their own decision for day to day goods.In result, by grownup they become selfish and also this may disadvantage for socity.Therefor, parents should keep eye on their children.

Those who argue in agents consider that it is needful thing for teenagers to make choices by themself because it is lead to thier development.For instance, indian kids are not allowded to buy something for themself thats the reason why they are not capable to compit with other nation kids.On the other hand japness school theach their students from the starting level of studien to buy every thing by their own and manage accuratly.In result, this kids become more productive and develop their decision making skill.However, like me majority of individual belive in same way.

To conclude, both arguments are relevant because allowing children to make their own choices on everyday assential thing may build their confidance and help in developing skills as well as it will also create selfish adults.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You present both views and give a personal position, stating that teenagers need freedom for “self growth.” The examples about Japanese and Indian children are relevant to the topic, but they are broad claims and are not explained enough to show clearly how everyday choices lead to selfishness or, alternatively, stronger decision-making. Your conclusion mentions confidence and skills, but does not resolve the tension between these outcomes or restate your position clearly. The response also contains 220 words, so it is 30 words below the required minimum; 42 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop each view with a specific, explained example and make your own judgement consistent from introduction to conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the main parts of your discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear, and some linking phrases do not show the relationship between ideas accurately. For example, “In result” is repeated, while “However, like me majority of individual believe in same way” does not connect clearly to the preceding example. The conclusion also introduces benefits without clearly tying them to your stated position. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main point, then explain and support it in a logical order. Choose a small range of accurate transitions and use clear references to avoid repetition.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “freedom of choice,” “selfish,” “personal growth,” and “decision making skill,” so the reader can follow the general subject. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts difficult to understand, such as “nessary,” “diffrent aspacts,” “in agents,” and “assential thing.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “providing choice of decision” and “keep eye on their children.” These errors fit a level where vocabulary is sufficient to communicate basic ideas but control is inconsistent. Learn common collocations for discussing parenting and development, and proofread spelling and word forms. Aim for precise wording rather than adding unfamiliar expressions you cannot yet use accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in sentence construction, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation. For example, “will be lead to thinking” has an incorrect verb pattern, while “Those who argue … likely to result … wishes.For example” runs sentences together without appropriate punctuation. “Indian kids are not allowded” also shows a faulty passive form. These problems sometimes make the reader work to understand the intended relationship between ideas. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses using patterns such as “because” and “although.” Check verb forms, sentence boundaries, and spaces after full stops.

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