Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Few people argue that if children start to make their own decision would affect ssociety because, they may become selfish.However other believe that, it should be children's choice what they want in their life. This essay will explain both sides in the upcoming paragharphs.

There are several reasons behind this, most significant one they become selifish because they start to think that family do not support them in any difficult time. For example many working parents do not have time to shop for young one's or they do not pay what are the childrens are exploring on the social media. As a result, when children become independent and start to ignore orders of their parents .

On the other side, self driven kids become good society members,as when they

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You introduce the two contrasting views: that children’s choices may make them selfish, and that they should decide matters affecting them. However, the response addresses the task only partially. The first view receives a brief explanation, but the example about parents being busy shopping or monitoring social media does not clearly show how everyday choices create selfishness. The second view begins with “self driven kids become good society members,” but the sentence stops before explaining why, and there is no clear personal opinion or conclusion. The response is also substantially below the required minimum length, leaving the discussion and supporting examples undeveloped. Explain both positions fully, state your view directly, and support it with relevant reasons and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is an attempt to organise the response with an introduction, a paragraph beginning “There are several reasons,” and a contrast introduced by “On the other side.” These signals help the reader recognise the intended structure. However, the progression is incomplete: the final paragraph breaks off at “as when they,” so the second view is not developed and the essay has no ending. Some connections between ideas are also unclear; for example, the link between parents’ limited time and children becoming selfish is not explained. Punctuation around transitions is inconsistent, and the opening sentence runs into “However.” Use complete paragraphs, connect each example explicitly to its claim, and finish with a conclusion that restates your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “selfish,” “independent,” “choice,” and “society members,” so the main subject is generally recognisable. The range is limited, however, and several word choices or forms make the meaning less clear. “Self driven kids” is not a natural phrase in this context, while “what they want in their life” is broad and imprecise. There are also noticeable spelling errors, such as “ssociety,” “paragharphs,” and “selifish,” which reduce accuracy. Aim for precise language about autonomy, responsibility, and parental guidance, and check spelling carefully. More varied, accurate topic vocabulary would help you express the two arguments more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional opening (“if children start to make their own decision…”) and a reason clause beginning “because.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “if children start to make their own decision would affect” combines incompatible verb patterns, and “when children become independent and start to ignore orders of their parents” is left without a complete main clause. The final sentence is also unfinished. Punctuation and sentence boundaries need attention, particularly the missing space after “selfish.” and the comma placement around “because.” Practise completing each clause and checking subject–verb structure before adding complexity.

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