Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Most of the people in the world believes that children are allows to make their own choices on everyday happens such as food, clothes and entertainments to deal the situation, besides there are many other parents that thinks, children don't want to make decisions about their personal matters that affects them. I completely agrees with both views.

Firstly, those parents who thinks that children are allows to make important decisions in their life are good. If children decides about themsleves then there are two situations, first they make better decisions that are really helpful and meaningful in their life. They decide each and everything very perfectly and use their mind in only right decisions that level up them towards the height of glory. If they make decisions that are fully wrong then they get nothing in their lives and fellen themselves day by day. For example, in overall world there are two types of people, one is full on right path and the other is full on wrong path and definately those who are on right path will wins the life race very honestly.

Secondly, the other parents believes that it is very important to make important decisions about their individuals to make their life happy.

Those, who take decisions about their individuals are very helpful and meaningful in their life and there childs never disappointed at any moment in their life. For example, in this whole world every parents should know well that what is marvellous for their love ones and what is not. Because they can faced this situation earlier in their life, and knows well about their future also. By this way, their loves are making their whole life very magnificently and honestly.

In conclusion, i think taking decisions from the parents are very helpful and awesome for a child to become successful and making their lives haapy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response attempts to discuss both views and gives a final preference for parents making decisions, so the reader can identify a general position. However, the discussion does not clearly explain the task’s central contrast: children choosing everyday matters versus children having a say in matters that affect them. The opening misrepresents the second view as children not wanting to decide, and the body paragraphs then focus on whether decisions are “right” or “wrong” and whether parents know what is best. Examples such as people being on the “right path” are broad and do not support the specific claims. To develop the response, explain the benefits and risks of children’s everyday choices, address their involvement in decisions affecting them, and support each view with a relevant, concrete example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a recognisable essay shape, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “Firstly” and “Secondly,” and a conclusion. These markers help the reader see the intended structure. However, the ideas within paragraphs do not progress clearly: the first body paragraph moves from children making decisions to a general contrast between people on the “right path” and “wrong path,” without showing how this supports the view. The second paragraph repeats claims about decisions being helpful and parents knowing what is best. Some references, including “their individuals” and “their loves,” make it difficult to follow who or what is meant. Build each paragraph around one clear claim, explain it in a logical sequence, and use pronouns and linking phrases only when their references are clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “decisions,” “personal matters,” “meaningful,” and “successful,” and attempts more expressive phrases such as “height of glory.” However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the intended meaning hard to understand. Phrases such as “everyday happens,” “make decisions about their individuals,” and “fellen themselves” do not convey the ideas clearly; “entertainments” and “definately” also show word-form or spelling problems. Aim for precise, natural collocations rather than decorative wording. For example, use “everyday choices,” “decisions that affect them,” and “feel discouraged,” and check spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing attempts both simple and longer sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If children decides… then…” and clauses introduced by “because.” This shows an effort to connect ideas, but the longer constructions are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to interpret. Examples include “Most of the people… believes,” “children are allows,” “parents that thinks,” and “I completely agrees,” where subject–verb agreement and verb forms are not controlled. There are also problems with articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries, as in the long opening sentence joined by commas. Practise building accurate short sentences first, then combine them with one clear subordinate clause; check agreement, verb forms, and punctuation in each sentence.

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