Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, many people believe that children to allowing make their own choices and they make self independent and handle every matters such as, food preferences, clothes and entertainment because they trust to these thing that they have good result and society and individuals who only think about their own wishes. Some people believe that many children want to be more independent and take responsibility and make their own decision about matters the effect them. In my opinion, i strongly agree with this statement that children allowing to make their own choices because they want to be successful in their life and the want to be more confidence and capability.

On the one hand, this essay discuss both of the reasons and give my opinion. So, some people believe that many children wants to be self independent because, they have to make their own choices on everyday and they want to be more confident. For instance, if children not to participate in school or other activities so they have to lack of confidence and they haven't taken responsibility and they avoided many these things then they behind in other children. Moreover, many people want children be active and smart in this era because they have to take part in social media, society economy and they can buy food, clothes, and other items and one more important thing is that they use internet and watch some videos entertainment.

On the other hand, many individuals believe that a lots of children is essential to take responsibility and make decisions about matters that effect them. Furthermore, children can more confident and depends on their life because, they can smart work remotely on this time and solve many problems easily. Apart from this, children learn many things to schools or college such as, that how to make decisions and take responsibility. Therefore, on this time many students, children and other people wanted to be more self dependent and relying on self not to another person because, they spend life being by own self that is reasonable thing.

In conclusion, I strongly believe this statement that children want to be more confident and self independent. Regarding this, they parents allow that they can get own work at time and without wasting time and money.Yet, children want to enjoy their life and make independence on this field.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear personal preference for allowing children to make choices, and you refer to both independence and responsibility. However, the two views are not fully explained as the prompt presents them: the concern that choice may produce people who think only of their own wishes is not meaningfully discussed. Much of the response instead repeats that children should become confident and independent, with examples such as school activities and using the internet that do not clearly support the competing arguments. Your position is present, but its reasons are broad and sometimes unclear. To strengthen the response, explain the possible risks of excessive choice, then weigh these against the benefits and support your opinion with a specific, relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the phrases “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” signal an attempt to organise both sides. However, the progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow because several ideas are joined without clear relationships. For example, the first body paragraph moves from confidence to school participation, then social media, the economy and entertainment without explaining how these points connect. Some linking expressions, such as “Furthermore” and “Therefore,” introduce ideas but do not make the reasoning clearer. The conclusion also repeats the preference rather than drawing together the discussion. Use one main point per paragraph, develop it in a logical sequence, and make references between sentences explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “responsibility,” “independent,” “decisions” and “confidence,” and the reader can generally identify your main subject. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “self independent,” “make their own choices” and “confident.” Some combinations are unnatural or imprecise, such as “society economy,” “smart work remotely on this time” and “make independence on this field,” which make parts of the argument difficult to understand. Aim to use more precise topic language and learn common word partnerships. For example, you could describe children as “developing autonomy” or say that they “become accountable for their decisions,” while checking that each phrase fits the intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “if” and “that,” but complex structures are often not controlled successfully. Errors in verb forms and agreement appear in examples such as “many children wants” and “children allowing to make,” while sentence patterns are incomplete or awkward in “if children not to participate” and “they have to lack of confidence.” Articles, plurals and punctuation also need attention; for instance, “a lots of children is” has agreement and number problems, and commas frequently interrupt clauses. These errors sometimes make the intended relationships unclear. Practise building accurate basic sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time, checking subject–verb agreement and verb forms.

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