Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some individuals believe that giving freedom of choice to the children on daily aspects of life like foods, clothes and entertainment is going to make them self oriented, while other people argue that if it going to impact them; the choice should be their. This essay will discuss both views and will argue that the choice should be in the hands of children.

On the one hand, our society is dividend into several classes based on income status. Some individuals are hardly affording basic household needs and while others are earning in millions. The division of status have its impact on life style and choices. Many children buy different things to show off in their circles and this thing really affects many children who cannot afford those expensive things. Children in learn many things from the environment in which they are growing and when they see different things and they also want to buy them and then they realize their parents can't afford these expensive clothes and gadgets and they get dishearted. In my school days there was a rule that no one was allowed to order expensive food from outside of the school area, the reason behind this rule was to create a environment where everyone should afford and eat similar food.

On the other hand, parents word hard their entire lives to provide best life to their childrens. Many individuals make compromises in their childhood because their parents cannot afford expensive foods, clothes and sources of entertainment and now they want to gave their children a freedom of choice to get whatever they wish.

Hence, children should be given freedom of choice but parents should also teach them about the struggles of life. In this way they will had their freedom of choice and they are going to behave well and also think about other childrens as well.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You present a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion: children should have choice, provided parents teach them about life’s difficulties. You also discuss both perspectives, using the school food rule to illustrate concerns about affordability and describing parents’ wish to give their children opportunities they lacked. However, the response only partially develops the task. The first view is mainly explained through expensive goods and social comparison, rather than showing clearly how everyday choice could foster self-centred behaviour. The second view is brief and does not explain why children’s involvement in decisions affecting them is beneficial. Develop each side with a direct explanation and a relevant example, then connect these points more explicitly to your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a concluding position. This helps the reader follow the broad direction of the response. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven. The first body paragraph moves from income differences to children’s purchases, disappointment, and a school rule without clearly linking each point to the question of personal choice. The second side is much shorter, so the discussion feels unbalanced. Some connections are also unclear, such as “this thing” and “In this way.” Organise each body paragraph around one main argument, explain it step by step, and use precise references to connect examples to the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “freedom of choice,” “afford,” “compromises,” and “struggles of life,” and the reader can generally understand your intended meaning. There are also attempts to express social concepts, such as “income status” and “self oriented.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate or unnatural, including “dividend into several classes,” “dishearted,” and “parents word hard.” Repetition of “expensive” and “children” also limits flexibility. Aim for more precise collocations and vary repeated terms; for example, describe social divisions as “divided by income” and use “discouraged” for the children’s reaction. Proofreading spelling and word forms will make your meaning clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a conditional idea in “if it going to impact them” and a concluding sentence that links choice with behaviour. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “if it going to impact them” (missing auxiliary), “the choice should be their” (incorrect pronoun form), “The division of status have” (subject–verb disagreement), and “they will had” (incorrect verb form). Articles and plurals also need attention, as in “a environment” and “their childrens.” Practise building accurate clauses with correct auxiliaries and verb forms, and check agreement, articles, and punctuation before submitting.

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