Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is an ongoing debate about whether allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters, such as food, clothing and entertainment, is likely to create a society of self-centred individuals. While some people hold this view, others believe that children should be allowed to make decisions about matters that affect them. I support the latter view because it helps children develop independence and a sense of responsibility.

One of the importance of allowing children to make decisons about matters that affect them is that it helps them to develop independence. Children will not neccessary depend all their elderly ones before eating, deciding clothes they are supposed to wear or the kind of entertainment they desired. For example, older children in secondary know they are to wear a specific uniform and not outdoor wears to school. Children would also be encourage what is best suit for breakfast, lunch as well as dinner. Therefore, they can easily make their meals while the elders are not available under safety rules.

Another importance of allowing children to make desion is that they develop a sense of responsibility. Children if not allow o do some certains things by themselve would not be able to execute talk more of perfecting it. For instance, I have always loved to be in the kitchen with my mother when I was very young, at 10 years old, she allowed me to cook for the family which i eventually grow much interest in cooking. This in returns, encouraged me to go into cooking as a profession and I have been opportuned to host my state governor.

Although, allowing children to make decisions by themselves that make them develop independence and a sense of responsibility, it is advisable for parents to supervise and monitor their decision. Parents should let them see reasons why some decisions might not be adequate or good for them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is clear: you support children making decisions because this can build independence and responsibility. You develop these two benefits with examples, especially your experience cooking with your mother. However, the task asks you to discuss both views, and the opposing concern—that children may become self-centred—is only introduced in the opening and is not explained or supported in a body paragraph. The response therefore addresses the prompt only partially, and the argument is weighted heavily toward one side. To strengthen it, explain why some people fear unrestricted choice, perhaps using an example of children prioritising their own preferences, then show how parental guidance can address that concern while preserving children’s autonomy.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two paragraphs presenting benefits, and a concluding qualification about parental supervision. The ideas within the two main paragraphs generally follow a cause-and-effect pattern, and examples help readers follow the argument. However, the overall progression is incomplete because the opposing view is not developed, despite being signalled in the introduction. Some links are also awkward or unclear, such as “Although, allowing children to make decisions…” and “This in returns,” while repeated openings such as “One of the importance” and “Another importance” make the organisation feel formulaic. Build a separate paragraph for the opposing view and use clearer transitions to show how each point relates to your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “independence,” “sense of responsibility,” “supervise,” and “monitor,” and the cooking example gives you a chance to use specific language. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make parts of the response less natural or occasionally difficult to interpret. Examples include “depend all their elderly ones,” “outdoor wears,” “execute talk,” and “opportuned.” There are also repeated uses of “allowing children to make decisions” and “importance,” which restrict variety. Aim for accurate, natural phrases such as “rely on their parents,” “outdoor clothes,” and “carry out tasks,” and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would help express the contrast between autonomy and self-centredness.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex structures, including “While some people hold this view, others believe…” and a concluding sentence that introduces parental supervision. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in sentence construction, verb forms, agreement, and articles. For example, “One of the importance” should be “One of the benefits,” while “Children would also be encourage” needs a passive form such as “encouraged.” In “Children if not allow o do some certains things,” the clause is incomplete and the verb forms are faulty. The long sentence beginning “I have always loved to be in the kitchen” also needs clearer punctuation and tense control. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check each verb against its subject and time reference.

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