Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Few individuals think that allowing children to create their own choices on daily matters such as food, clothes and entertainment is likely to result in society who only think about their own wishes. Others consider that is is essential for children to make decisions about matters that are effective. Although some masses holds former statement because of become good decision maker, I believe that latter holds more importance.

On the one hand, the major reason why some masses holds this viewpoint is become good decision maker. This is due to the fact that if children start making their own choices in early age such as in food, clothes and entertainment chocies they can become independent and always able to solve any kind of difficulty in their life. They also become fear less and choose the right thing for them. For instance, in many nations children can do part time jobs with their studies by which can know about daily expenses to survive and make own decisions . Thus, children become independent and mature in their life.

On the other hand, making effective decisions is more beneficial because of academic achievement. This means that if children pay more attention in their studies instead of making decisions in daily lives they can archieve good grades in their academics. Another worth considering reason is career growth. To elaborate, children have more interest in different activities like in art and music if children can make decision to continue this interest in their future they can create their successful business and do better.

To conclude, even though some masses holds first statement, I believe that making effective decision has more merits which is academic achievement and career growth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You present a position—“I believe that latter holds more importance”—and include reasons related to independence, academic achievement and career growth. However, the discussion does not fully address the two views as framed in the question. The first body paragraph explains how choice may build independence, but does not engage with the concern that children could become self-centred. The second paragraph shifts to the benefits of focusing on studies and career, rather than clearly explaining why children should make decisions about matters that affect them. Several claims, such as children achieving better grades by avoiding everyday decisions, are not clearly supported. Develop each side in direct relation to the prompt and explain your own position more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This helps readers identify the broad stages of your argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the link between making everyday choices and doing part-time jobs, for example, is not explained. The second body paragraph moves from academic achievement to career growth without showing how these points support the view under discussion. Connect each reason explicitly to the question, and use clearer references and transitions between related ideas. The repeated phrasing “some masses holds” also makes the argument feel repetitive rather than smoothly developed.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “independent,” “academic achievement,” “career growth” and “successful business,” which helps communicate the main themes. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, sometimes making the intended meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “effective decisions” where the meaning is uncertain, “some masses” for people or parents, and “fear less” for fearless. There are also spelling errors such as “chocies” and “archieve.” Aim for precise, natural expressions and check spelling carefully. Repeating “decisions,” “children” and “life” could also be reduced by using suitable alternatives where the meaning remains clear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a conditional structure beginning “if children start making their own choices” and a concession in the introduction. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in agreement, sentence construction and articles occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to understand. For example, “some masses holds” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “Others consider that is is essential” contains an incorrect clause structure and a repeated verb. In “by which can know about daily expenses,” the subject is missing. Practise building complete clauses with clear subjects and verbs, and check agreement and articles when editing. More accurate control of these structures would make your ideas easier to follow.

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