Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In this modern world,few individuals consider that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters such as food,clothes and entertainment is likely to result in a society of humans who only believe about their own wishes while other individuals believe that it is crucial for children to make decision about matters that affect them.This esaay will discuss both views and my opinion in following paragraphs.

analyzing the some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices everyday matters,Therfore,these days all children choices very different and they think always own choices in life.To be more clear, whenever,children own choices favourite food,clothes and watch entertainment life in and they do not feel streesed they always freedom lives life in a good way.For instance,a children always make their own choices in life and enjoy life always live freedom style and they automatically happy in life.As a result with friends and family members enjoy life.

On the other hand,Other people believe that it is crucial for children to make decisions about matters inlife.therefore this is beneficial for children life becauise they learn how to independent in life and make a decision in life.to be more clear,in future life money saving is crucial in life and theuy learn independent in life and they spentmoney on study books not choices food.in my opinion is this children to make decisions about matters in life because theylearning new skills and become independent in life.

in conclusion,these days mostly children choices matters such as food and clothes but it is depend on situation but other beneficial to make decision is about matter in life they learn knowledge and handle to life situation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You attempt to discuss both views and state a preference for children making decisions, so the response is relevant to the question. However, the discussion is only minimally developed: the first view is mainly linked to children feeling free and happy, while the second is linked to independence and saving money, with little explanation or specific support. Your position appears in the second body paragraph but is not clearly established or developed throughout. The conclusion also introduces an unclear qualification rather than summarising a definite argument. The response contains 242 words, below the required 250; 36 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop each view with a clear reason and a relevant example, and state your opinion consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an identifiable introduction, two body paragraphs presenting opposing views, and a conclusion. This gives the reader a basic overall structure. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow because several ideas are repeated or left incomplete, as in “they think always own choices in life” and “As a result with friends and family members enjoy life.” Linking expressions such as “therefore,” “to be more clear,” and “as a result” are used mechanically and do not always show a clear relationship between ideas. Some references, including “this” in the conclusion, are also unclear. Organise each body paragraph around one main claim, then explain and illustrate it, using fewer but more precise transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “choices,” “independent,” “beneficial,” and “decisions,” and the reader can generally identify the subject of your response. However, the range is basic and repetitive, with “life,” “choices,” and “in life” appearing frequently. Several word choices or combinations are unclear, such as “believe about their own wishes,” “freedom lives life,” and “handle to life situation.” Spelling errors such as “esaay,” “streesed,” and “becauise” also reduce accuracy. Build a more varied set of topic vocabulary and check that words combine naturally; for example, use “focus on their own preferences” rather than “believe about their own wishes.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to form longer sentences and use connectors, but sentence structures are often incomplete or inaccurately formed, which sometimes makes the meaning hard to follow. For example, “whenever, children own choices favourite food” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “in my opinion is this children to make decisions” does not form a complete, clear statement. There are also recurring problems with articles, plurals, agreement, and verb forms, as in “a children” and “they learning new skills.” Punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, particularly at sentence beginnings and after commas. Practise writing clear subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking each sentence for a complete main clause.

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