Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is often argued that some people think allowing children to make their own choice on every day matter in term of foods, clothes and other entertainment produced the very beneficial decisions about their personal life. While on the other hand people believe that it is crucial for children to take decisions about matters that affect them. Both pespective has their own benefits after discussing these view, this essay will explain my position and analysis according to the given problem

The people who still believe children with self control produced very important decision according to their certain problems. This is because many parents given full control to their children to take better decision. For example if people allow their children do your favourire things which you really like to do in this way children forgot their family did what they want. As the result children might be traped badly by other people in this way that might be cause of their parent happiness.

On the other hand supporters of children to make decisions about the matters that really affect their life. This is because many people think that their childern are very introvert and they do not share any kind of information about any matter. For instance, some individuals complain the teachers of their children to told them to be confident because they want that children should be confident and intelligent. As the result children are unable to speak at the front of any one because their teacher told them in front of whole class that might be the root cause of failure of most of the student.

In my perspective both these view has their own social and moral value,but children should be the under control of their parents because they know that their children very well and in this way children also got the ability of speak confidently in front any one rather then ask their teacher to pay attention to this matter is more beneficial and practical.

To sum up both these views has their practical and social value but my view about this concern is more beneficial.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You attempt to discuss both views and state a preference for parental control, so the response is relevant to the question. However, the two positions are not explained clearly enough to fully address the task. The first body paragraph appears to support children making choices, but its example about children forgetting their family and being trapped by others is difficult to follow and seems to argue against that view. The second paragraph focuses on confidence and teachers rather than clearly explaining why children should decide matters affecting them. Your opinion is present, but the conclusion repeats it without developing the reasons. Explain each view accurately, use a relevant example for each, and make your own position and its justification consistent throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable essay structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting different perspectives, and a conclusion. Paragraphing helps the reader identify the main sections, and transitions such as “On the other hand” signal a change in viewpoint. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear: the example about children doing what they like does not connect logically to the claim about self-control, while the teacher example shifts away from the question of children making decisions. Linking phrases such as “As the result” are repeated and sometimes introduce unclear consequences. The conclusion also repeats the introduction rather than drawing the discussion together. Build each paragraph around one clear claim, then explain how its example supports that claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “self control,” “confident,” “decisions,” and “social and moral value.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make the meaning difficult to understand, such as “produced the very beneficial decisions,” “children forgot their family,” and “root cause of failure.” Spelling errors, including “pespective,” “childern,” and “traped,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise language about autonomy, parental guidance, and responsibility, and check spelling carefully. For example, describe children as “making choices” rather than saying their choices are “produced,” and ensure that each phrase expresses the intended relationship between the idea and its example.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because” and “that,” but complex sentences are often difficult to follow because of errors in structure and agreement. Examples include “Both pespective has their own benefits” and “many parents given full control,” where the subject–verb relationship and verb form are inaccurate. In “allow their children do your favourire things,” the clause structure and pronouns are not controlled. Missing or misplaced punctuation also creates run-on sentences, particularly in the introduction and the first body paragraph. Practise forming one complete main clause at a time, then add subordinate clauses with clear subjects and verbs. More accurate sentence boundaries and agreement would make your ideas easier to understand.

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