Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Recent IELTS Exams (Canada & India) · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

You recently helped your company organise an event at a hotel. Write a letter to the hotel manager. In your letter:

– Provide details about the event
– Mention what you particularly liked about the hotel
– Suggest areas for improvement.

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:
Dear Sir / Madam,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear Sir/ Madam,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this email to discuss an event at a hotel.

Firstly, we should consider the importance of my company, which will contribute to the overall efficiency and well-being of the operation.

Also, if we take into account the likelihood of organising an event at a hotel, it is expected to have a threefold effect for several reasons, including providing details about the event as we know that this event was very important so every employee came with their family in this event for enjoy the event on 20th October, memtioning what I particularly liked about the hotel which was the food, and suggesting areas for improvment that was the customer service.

Furthermore, helping the company should not be neglected as it can improve the chance of sccess, effectiveness, quality of life, and a positive environment.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Kind regards,

Doly

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the prompt only partially and touches on the bullet points in a very minimal and somewhat convoluted way. While you managed to mention details about the event, such as the date '20th October' and family attendance, as well as the food and customer service as requested, your ideas remain heavily under-developed and are obscured by repetitive and irrelevant filler sentences. For example, sentences discussing the general importance of your company do not directly answer the prompt requirements. To move closer to a higher band, you need to ensure that all bullet points are clearly expanded with relevant, realistic details related specifically to the event held at the hotel, avoiding extraneous commentary that does not contribute to the task.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

The response lacks an overall logical progression and clear arrangement of ideas. Although paragraphing is attempted, the flow of information is disrupted by mechanical and repetitive transitions such as 'Firstly,' 'Also,' and 'Furthermore.' Within the body of the letter, a single extremely long and convoluted sentence attempts to bundle all bullet points together, making the text difficult to follow. Pronoun referencing and substitution are also faulty, creating confusion about the relationship between the company's general operation and the specific event at the hotel. To improve, you should organize your ideas into distinct, well-sequenced paragraphs where each bullet point is addressed in its own logical section using clear and appropriate cohesive devices.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is a mix of basic and repetitive terms alongside attempts at less common phrasing that result in noticeable errors. You successfully utilized vocabulary such as 'efficiency,' 'operation,' and 'customer service,' but word choices and collocations are frequently unnatural or inaccurate, such as 'come with their family in this event for enjoy the event' and 'chance of sccess.' Spelling contains minor slips like 'memtioning' and 'sccess.' The range is minimally adequate for the task, but errors in word form and collocation occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on accurate word formation, precise word choice, and natural phrasing without relying on repetitive templates.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The grammar demonstrates a limited range of structures, with attempts at complex sentences frequently becoming faulty, overly long, and grammatically entangled. For instance, the very long central sentence contains multiple clauses linked poorly, resulting in grammatical errors such as incorrect prepositions and verb forms, including 'come with their family... for enjoy.' Frequent errors are present in sentence construction and word patterns, which can cause confusion for the reader. To improve your grammatical score, aim to write shorter, clearer sentences with accurate verb forms and prepositions, ensuring that your complex sentences are constructed correctly with proper subordination and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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