Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Predictions Nov 2026 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Cosmetic surgery has become increasingly common in many parts of the world. Some people choose these procedures to change their appearance, while others have them for medical reasons.

What is the reason for their popularity nowadays?

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given data demonstrates that cosmetic surgery has become increasingly common across the world but some people choose that procedures to change their personality while others select that for medical reasons.

The reason behind of its popularity is social media because they advertise it on mobile phones so people always watching videos related to skin surgery, cosmetics and health. Smart phones become their big platform in which they easily promot their ideas or equipments which everyone have to watch them because they have no other options, like if they want to open any app first they have to watch advertising then that app can open. So, that how they use these platformes to promot cosmetic surgery for their promotion social influencers also

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You identify social media and advertising as a reason cosmetic surgery is popular, and the example of adverts appearing before an app opens gives this point some context. However, the response addresses only the popularity question in a limited way: it does not explain other possible reasons, such as changing beauty standards or greater access to procedures. Most importantly, you do not state whether this development is positive or negative, so the second part of the task is unanswered. The response is also substantially below the required 250 words, leaving the ideas undeveloped and no relevant examples or conclusion. To improve, answer both questions directly, state a clear view, and support it with developed reasons and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic line of thought: the opening introduces cosmetic surgery, and the next section links its popularity to social media and advertising. The example about having to watch an advert before opening an app helps illustrate that connection. However, the response has no clear paragraph structure or overall progression, and it ends abruptly with “social influencers also,” leaving the point unfinished. Linking phrases such as “because,” “so,” and “like” are repeated or used loosely, while references such as “they” and “that” do not always make the meaning clear. Organise the essay into an introduction, separate body paragraphs for the two questions, and a conclusion; use clear topic sentences and connect each example to its main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “cosmetic surgery,” “medical reasons,” “social media,” and “social influencers,” so the reader can identify the subject and your main explanation. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate or unclear, such as “change their personality” where the intended meaning appears to be changing appearance, “promot,” and “equipments.” Repetition of “platform” and “advertising” also limits precision. Build a wider set of topic-specific expressions, for example “beauty standards,” “elective procedures,” and “reconstructive surgery,” and check spelling and countability. More accurate collocations would make your explanation easier to follow and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example by using “because” and “so,” and the basic meaning is often recoverable. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur frequently enough to make parts difficult to read. Examples include “people always watching videos,” which needs a finite verb, and “Smart phones become their big platform,” where the verb form and singular/plural pattern are not controlled. The final sentence is also incomplete. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with subordinate clauses. Check that every sentence has a subject and finite verb, and review agreement and article use before submitting.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.