Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Recent IELTS Exams (Canada & India) · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The pie charts below show how working adults in a particular country spent their time in 1958 and 2008.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
* Note: these aren’t the original diagrams given in the test, they were recreated for the purpose of demonstration.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The pie charts illustrates that the working adults in a particular country spent their all time in 1958 and 2008 . The percentages of adult activities on various countries are as given below.
In 1958, the young generations in various countries spend 19% time in going out with their friends or family . However, 2% people travelling to work . So, only 8% adults relaxing at home. Moreover, the percentage of working and sleeping are too high.However, the percentage of sleeping is 32%. Many young generation spend their 32% time in sleeping. In addition , the percentage of working is 33%.
In 2008 , only 7% adults spend their time playing sports . However, the percentage of adults going out with their friends are 6% . So, the sleeping activity in adults is still high . It is about 25%. Furthermore, the percentage of working is high . It is about 42%.
Overall, the adults activity of sleeping are high in 1958 and 2008. However, the working activities are also very high in percentage .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarize the data but fails to provide a clear overview or effectively compare the two years. The description of the data is often inaccurate; for example, you state that 'young generations' are the subject, but the prompt specifies 'working adults'. Furthermore, the data points are presented in a disjointed manner without highlighting the most significant trends or shifts between 1958 and 2008. To improve, ensure you identify the main features, such as the increase in working hours and the decrease in sleeping time, rather than listing individual percentages in isolation.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is weak. While you use some cohesive devices like 'However' and 'In addition', they are often used incorrectly or repetitively. The progression of ideas is not clear, as the transition between the 1958 data and the 2008 data lacks a comparative focus. The referencing is also problematic, as the connection between the sentences is sometimes mechanical rather than natural. Improving the use of linking words to show contrast and comparison would significantly enhance the readability and coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use phrases like 'the percentage of' and 'is high', which restricts the sophistication of your writing. There are also inaccuracies in word choice, such as referring to the subjects as 'young generations' instead of 'working adults'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'witnessed a rise', or 'accounted for'. Avoid repeating the same sentence structures and basic descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'The pie charts illustrates', 'the percentage of adults... are 6%') and incorrect preposition usage. The sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences are often marred by errors. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before periods. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your sentences are grammatically complete. Increasing the variety of your sentence structures will also help you demonstrate better control over English grammar.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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