Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Recent IELTS Exams (Canada & India) · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The pie charts below show how working adults in a particular country spent their time in 1958 and 2008.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
* Note: these aren’t the original diagrams given in the test, they were recreated for the purpose of demonstration.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The pie chart illustrates the proportion of how employers of a particular country spent their quality time in forty years between 1958 and 2008
Overall, the perched of adolescence working was by far the most dominant trend while travelling to their work was the minor .however relaxing slightly to rise whereas sleeping fall .
Firstly,working was at peak by 33% which rose to 42% over the period meanwhile travelling to work declined by 5 % that made lowest percentage.nevertheless sleeping was 32% in 1958 which fall to 25% till 2008
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the ability to fully address the task. While you have identified some main features, such as the increase in working hours and the decline in sleeping time, the analysis is underdeveloped. You have not provided a comprehensive overview or sufficient detail to satisfy the requirements of an Academic Task 1 response. The failure to reach the length threshold means the response is incomplete and lacks the necessary depth to achieve a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The essay lacks a clear logical progression. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the structure is disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is minimal and often inaccurate, such as the misuse of 'however' and 'nevertheless' which do not correctly link the ideas. The sentences are often fragmented or poorly connected, making the overall flow difficult to follow. To improve, you should focus on using linking words more effectively to connect your ideas and ensure each paragraph has a clear, singular focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. There are several instances of incorrect word choice, such as 'perched of adolescence' (likely meant 'percentage of adults') and 'minor' used as a noun. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe trends accurately. You rely on basic terms and struggle to use precise language to describe the data provided in the charts. Expanding your vocabulary to include specific terms for describing trends, such as 'fluctuate', 'significant', or 'proportion', would greatly enhance your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('sleeping fall'), tense consistency, and sentence structure. Many sentences are incomplete or lack proper punctuation, which impedes communication. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and using correct verb tenses when describing past data. Proofreading for basic errors is essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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