Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Recent IELTS Exams (Canada & India) · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The pie charts below show how working adults in a particular country spent their time in 1958 and 2008.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

* Note: these aren’t the original diagrams given in the test, they were recreated for the purpose of demonstration.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

INTRIDUCTION:

This graph give us the information about how peoples in different countries spend their time in 1958 and 2008.This chart describe the daily routine of adults on various activities.

BODY PARAGRAPH 1:

Graph tell us the percentage of various activities.In 1958 adults adults do not go out with there family and friends the percentage rate is 19%.people do not traveling outside the rate of travelling is 2%.sleeping rate is good which is 32% and working rate is also tragnant 32%.Relaxing which is quite necessary for our body people do not relax that's whay can not work for long time.

BODY PARAGRAPH 2:

In 2008 adults adults also do not go out with there family and friends the percentage rate is vey low, people do not traveling outside the rate of travelling is 7%., sleeping rate is good which is 25% and working rate is very good which is about 42%.Relaxing which is quite necessary and the rate is 15%.

CONCLUSION:

In conclusion, I try to maintain a balanced daily routine by focusing on my work, getting enough sleep, spending quality time with my family, and relaxing in my free time. I believe this balance helps me stay happy, healthy, and productive.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to address the task requirements effectively. While you identify some data points, the analysis is superficial and lacks a clear overview of the main trends. You have included personal opinions in the conclusion ('I try to maintain a balanced daily routine'), which is inappropriate for an Academic Task 1 report. The task requires an objective summary of the provided data, not a personal reflection. Furthermore, the interpretation of the data is inconsistent, and the comparison between the two years is not clearly articulated. To improve, focus on identifying the most significant changes (e.g., the increase in working hours) and avoid adding personal commentary.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression of ideas is weak. The use of cohesive devices is very limited and often repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'the rate is'. There is a lack of linking words to connect the data points or to contrast the two years effectively. The conclusion is disconnected from the rest of the report because it shifts from describing the charts to discussing your own life. To improve, use a wider range of transition signals like 'in contrast', 'meanwhile', or 'subsequently' to guide the reader through the data comparisons.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite basic and repetitive. You rely heavily on simple phrases like 'the rate is' and 'good', which limits your ability to describe the data with precision. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'INTRIDUCTION', 'peoples', 'tragnant', and 'whay'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the information accurately. To improve, learn specific terminology for describing charts, such as 'proportion', 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant increase'. Expanding your vocabulary will help you describe the trends more professionally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('This graph give', 'Graph tell'), incorrect pluralization ('peoples'), and awkward sentence structures ('adults adults do not go out'). The punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods. The response relies almost entirely on simple sentences, with no successful attempts at complex structures. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and practice using complex sentences with subordinating conjunctions like 'although', 'while', or 'whereas' to improve the flow and accuracy of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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