Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Recent IELTS Exams (Canada & India) · 2026-09-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The pie charts below show how working adults in a particular country spent their time in 1958 and 2008.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
* Note: these aren’t the original diagrams given in the test, they were recreated for the purpose of demonstration.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The pie chart depicts the information regarding the working adults in a particular country spent their time in going out with friends/family, working, relaxing at home , sleeping , travelling to work and playing sports in the given period of time .
it can be clearly seen in the given pie chart that , in 1958 the proportion of going out with friends that was 19% highest as compared to 2008 that was 6% in same . whereas,the percentage of playing sports is remain same in the both years , by contrast , the percentage 33% of working in year 1958 and it was highest in year 2008 that was 42% ,in contrast , the percentage of relaxing at home that was maximum in year 2008 that was 13% and it was minimum in the year 1958 that was 8% ,moreover , there is a slight difference in sleeping in the year 1958 and 2008 that was 8% , whereas , the percentage of travelling to work that was 2% in 1958 and 7% in 2008 .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The student attempts to cover the main features of the two pie charts comparing how working adults spent their time in 1958 and 2008. However, there are significant factual inaccuracies in reporting the data. For example, the student states that the proportion of going out with friends in 1958 was '19% highest as compared to 2008 that was 6%', but later claims sleeping had a difference of '8%', which is mathematically and factually incorrect based on the chart (sleeping was 32% in 1958 and 25% in 2008, a difference of 7%). Furthermore, the overview is weak, consisting of a single overly long introductory sentence that awkwardly lists every category. The failure to accurately report several key data points and the absence of a clear, synthesised overview limit this response to Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The text suffers from severe structural issues regarding paragraphing and sentence construction. The entire main body of the response is crammed into one massive, run-on paragraph, making it extremely difficult to follow the logical progression of ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'whereas', 'by contrast', and 'moreover' are heavily overused and mechanically strung together within a single sentence, often creating confusion rather than clarity. For instance, the second paragraph is a single labyrinthine sentence containing multiple contrasting clauses ('whereas... by contrast... in contrast... moreover... whereas...'). Although there is a rudimentary attempt to group ideas, the lack of appropriate paragraph breaks and faulty mechanical cohesion pulls the score down to Band 4.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently relying on phrases lifted directly from the prompt such as 'working adults in a particular country' and 'going out with friends/family'. There are frequent awkward word choices and phrasing, such as 'the percentage of working in year 1958' and 'playing sports is remain same'. The student attempts some less common vocabulary, but these attempts are marred by inaccurate collocation and word forms. Range is severely limited due to repetitive structures and simple vocabulary choices, restricting the response to a Band 5.0 for lexical resource.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The text relies heavily on lengthy, poorly constructed run-on sentences dominated by relative clauses and conjunctions, lacking proper punctuation and full stops. There are frequent errors in verb tense and agreement, such as 'is remain same' instead of 'remained the same', and awkward clause anchoring like 'the working adults in a particular country spent their time in going out...'. Punctuation is particularly problematic, with commas incorrectly preceding conjunctions or separating subjects from verbs. Given the frequency of grammatical errors and the lack of reliable complex sentence control, this performance aligns with Band 4.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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