Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Recent IELTS Exams (Canada & India) · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The pie charts below show how working adults in a particular country spent their time in 1958 and 2008.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

* Note: these aren’t the original diagrams given in the test, they were recreated for the purpose of demonstration.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

firstly, in 1958 adults use their most of the time in working, where as same in 2008 the major activity of aduts was 42%, as a consequence this means that the working was their first priority of both adults as it is common. Moreover, in 2008 the adults the other activity was relaxing at home and sleeping which was 38%, similarly in 1958 it was 40 % ,slightly higher then 2008 adults. As soon as 1958 the other activity was going out with friends and families which was 19% higher then 2008 adults, consequently in the before times ther were no distratctions like mobilephone and rest of the electronic things, people spend most of their time with family and working. Similarly it can be seen from the fact that 2008 adults spend 6% of their time with their family which means that now they are been ignoring their families due to many reasons like because of mobile phone, they are being busy up there. more lastly the percentage of playing in both charts is similar and ther is not a big change/ margin between them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the main contrast that working took the largest share in both years, and you compare the combined proportions for relaxing at home and sleeping (38% in 2008 versus 40% in 1958). However, the response only partially summarises the charts: it omits the important rise in commuting from 2% to 7% and the appearance of sports at 7% in 2008. The claim that “the percentage of playing in both charts is similar” is unsupported, since sports is shown only for 2008. Some figures are also unclear: 19% refers to going out in 1958, not a difference over 2008. Explanations about phones and family priorities are speculation rather than chart information. A concise overview and accurate reporting of key changes would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to compare the two years, and linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “similarly,” and “consequently” show awareness of how ideas can be connected. However, the response is presented as one long paragraph and does not follow a clear overview-and-details structure. Several transitions do not express the intended relationship: “As soon as 1958” introduces a comparison awkwardly, while “more lastly” is unclear. The discussion also shifts from chart figures to speculation about technology and family life, interrupting the progression of the summary. Group the main overview first, then compare the largest categories and remaining changes, using simpler, more precise links between points.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant chart vocabulary, including “percentage,” “activity,” “working,” and “relaxing at home,” so the reader can identify the general subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “use their most of the time in working,” “first priority,” and “they are being busy up there.” Repetition of “adults,” “activity,” and “time” also limits precision. There are noticeable spelling and word-form errors, including “aduts,” “ther,” “distratctions,” and “families” where the chart label is friends/family. Use standard chart language such as “accounted for,” “share,” and “proportion,” and describe only what the data supports.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to form longer sentences and make comparisons, for example, “in 2008 … relaxing at home and sleeping which was 38%, similarly in 1958 it was 40%.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors can make relationships difficult to follow. Examples include “adults use their most of the time,” “the adults the other activity was,” and “they are been ignoring their families.” Subject–verb agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries also need attention; the response contains run-on sentences and inconsistent punctuation. Practise writing short, complete comparison sentences first, such as “Working accounted for 33% in 1958 and 42% in 2008,” then combine ideas only when the grammar remains clear.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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