Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Recent IELTS Exams (Canada & India) · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The pie charts below show how working adults in a particular country spent their time in 1958 and 2008.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

* Note: these aren’t the original diagrams given in the test, they were recreated for the purpose of demonstration.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In the following pie chart which show how adults are working in a particular country in the region in 1958 and 2008.first of all this pie chart show the percentage of the day spent by working adultson other social activities.In comparison we can say that in 1958 19 percent of child going out with their friends and their family members.Morever,we can say that 2 percent of adults can choosing to travel to work and adopting work by adults we consider the lowest percentage.Furthermore,32 percent of adults are like to sleep and 8 percent of adults are relaxing at home.The highest percentage of adults are choosing to work about 33 percent.In 2008 7 percent children are like to do sport.Morever,6 percent of adults are like to going out with friends and family members and 7 percent are like to work by travelling.Furthermore,we can say that 25 percent adults are like to sleep and 13 percent are choosing to relaxing at home.In the last the highest percentage of adults about 42 percent are choosing to do work.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You include figures from both years and identify some important contrasts, such as working rising from 33% to 42%, sleeping falling from 32% to 25%, and social outings declining from 19% to 6%. However, the response mainly lists individual categories rather than summarising the overall pattern. There is no clear overview of the major changes, and the opening misdescribes the charts as showing how adults are working rather than how they spend their day. Some details are inaccurate or unclear: the 19% figure refers to adults, not children, and the 7% sports figure is reported as children doing sport. To strengthen the response, give a concise overview first, then compare the main increases and decreases accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response follows a basic chronological order, discussing 1958 before 2008, and linking words such as “Furthermore” and “Moreover” show an attempt to connect information. However, the ideas are presented as one continuous sequence, without paragraphing or a clear overview to guide the reader. The repeated use of “Furthermore” and “Moreover” makes the progression mechanical, while phrases such as “In the last” do not clearly signal a meaningful final comparison. Group related changes—for example, increases in work and travel, then decreases in sleep and socialising—and use a separate introductory overview. This would make the comparisons easier to follow and reduce the sense of a repeated list.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant basic terms, including “percentage,” “sleep,” “relaxing at home,” and “travelling to work,” so the reader can recognise the chart categories. However, the vocabulary is repetitive and several word combinations are unnatural or imprecise, such as “adopting work by adults,” “like to sleep,” and “choosing to relaxing at home.” The repeated use of “adults are like to” also limits the range and sometimes makes the intended meaning less clear. Use neutral reporting language suited to charts, such as “accounted for,” “spent,” “rose,” and “fell,” and reproduce category labels accurately. This would make the description more precise without requiring unusually advanced vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Most of the response uses short, simple statements, and the reader can often identify the intended figures. However, grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to understand. For example, “which show” does not agree with “pie chart,” “19 percent of child going out” has an incomplete and incorrect structure, and “adults are like to sleep” uses an unsuitable verb pattern. There are also problems with articles, plurals, and punctuation, including the run-on opening sentence and missing spaces after commas. Practise accurate simple comparisons first, such as “The proportion working rose from 33% to 42%,” then add a small number of longer sentences with controlled clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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