Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Recent IELTS Exams (Canada & India) · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries not enough students are choosing to study science at university. What are the causes of this? What effects does it have on society?

Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In contemporary society, many people want to become autonomous and start their own business rather than working as employed because it has many benefits like personal growth, skill development and flexibility. I believe it is a personal choice of individuals. Therefore, both benefits , drawbacks and relevant examples will be discussed in the following paragraphs.

To begin with, many individuals choose to become self-employed on the ground that freelancer provides flexibility in work hours and freedom, thus they can easily manage their work-life balance and it prevents social conflict For example, businessman who have own company or industry, they are independent to take decision about breaks and can give more time to family. In addition, self-employment is likely to improve personal experience, creativity and holistic development.

Having said that, selecting self-employment also have substantial disadvantage. Firstly, businessman and freelancer do not get benefits like employee gets such as fix salary. For example, freelancer do not get benefits like health insurance and pension, thus they have to manage by themself. Moreover, income is not stable and high financial risk it causes health risk and many obstacles because company do not provides profit every time, hence self-employs have to be prepare for this type of problems.

To sum up, although becoming independent provides flexibility, giving time for work-life balance, it has also some drawbacks like financial risk, unstable income and no employment benefits.

I believe that people should be analysis of risk and then think about own potential then starting own business.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0

The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks for the causes and effects of students not choosing to study science at university. However, your essay discusses the pros and cons of self-employment versus being an employee. Because you have failed to address the actual task question, the response cannot be scored higher than a Band 3 or 4 for Task Achievement. To improve, you must carefully read the prompt and ensure your ideas directly answer the specific questions asked. Always spend a few minutes planning your response to ensure your arguments remain relevant to the topic provided.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs with clear topic sentences, such as 'To begin with' and 'Having said that'. You use some cohesive devices like 'In addition' and 'Moreover' to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is limited by the fact that the content does not relate to the prompt. While the structure is clear, the lack of relevance to the task makes the overall coherence ineffective. To improve, focus on ensuring that every paragraph directly supports the central argument related to the specific question asked in the prompt.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic of employment, using terms like 'autonomous', 'holistic development', and 'financial risk'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'self-employs have to be prepare' and 'people should be analysis of risk'. These errors occasionally make the text feel unnatural. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensure that your word forms (nouns vs. adjectives vs. verbs) are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('freelancer provides', 'company do not provides') and article usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and incorrect spacing before punctuation marks. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors indicate a lack of control over complex structures. To improve, practice proofreading your work specifically for subject-verb agreement and ensure that your sentence construction follows standard English rules.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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