Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Recent IELTS Exams (Canada & India) · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries not enough students are choosing to study science at university. What are the causes of this? What effects does it have on society?

Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is often argued that money has a great impact on life satisfaction. Some people believe that money plays a vital role in shaping our personality and happiness. As far as I am concerned, individuals can still enjoy a happy life without much more money. Moreover, several non-financial factors contribute greatly to genuine happiness.

On the one hand, money is the most important part of human life because it helps us to meet basic necessities and expensive products. We can buy everything with money. Secondly, it also helps us to create a best living standard. For example, it promotes a balanced lifestyle, which helps us to create a strong bond with family or friends. In addition, it assists people achieving a high standard lifestyle. For instance, they do work hard with determination towards their goals because of achieving a high income for their dreams.

However, having a large amount of money does not promote happiness. Many wealthy people experience loneliness and depression despite having a large amount of money. Moreover, many people suffering from diverse types of mental or physical illness.

Besides money, there are several factors have a great influence on happiness. First, healthy relationship with family and friends creates a strong bond with each other and gives a sense of peace. Second, healthy life also enables people feel any difficult task to overcome. For example, a healthy lifestyle promoting a balanced life.

To conclude, although money is a crucial part of human life. However, it meets basic needs but does not bring happiness. It is not only the source of promoting a happy balance. I believe strong relationship, good health and job satisfaction are equally important to promote a joyful life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 2.0

The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks for the causes and effects of students not choosing to study science at university. However, the student has written an essay about the relationship between money and happiness. Because the response does not address the task question at all, it fails to meet the requirements of the prompt. Even if the content were relevant, the ideas are not developed in relation to the specific topic of science education. Consequently, the response cannot be awarded a passing score for task achievement as it does not address the prompt provided.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, and there is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'However', and 'To conclude'. However, the logical progression is hindered by the fact that the content is irrelevant to the prompt. Within the paragraphs, the flow of ideas is somewhat mechanical, and the connection between sentences is often weak. While the structure follows a standard essay format, the lack of relevance to the task makes the overall coherence ineffective in communicating a meaningful argument related to the prompt.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive. Phrases like 'meet basic necessities', 'living standard', and 'life satisfaction' are used, but they are generic and do not demonstrate the range required for higher bands. There are some inaccuracies in collocation, such as 'assists people achieving' (should be 'assists people in achieving') and 'enables people feel' (should be 'enables people to feel'). The range is sufficient to express simple ideas, but it lacks the precision and flexibility needed to discuss complex academic topics effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student uses a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'many people suffering from diverse types' (missing a verb, e.g., 'are suffering'), 'several factors have a great influence' (should be 'several factors that have'), and 'although money is a crucial part... However, it meets' (a sentence fragment and redundant conjunction usage). While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in sentence construction and verb usage limit the score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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