Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Recent IELTS Exams (Canada & India) · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries not enough students are choosing to study science at university. What are the causes of this? What effects does it have on society?

Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many countries often argue that not enough students choose to study science at university. Although I believe that, due to the fast pace of technology, many individuals are starting to take admission in computer or AI technology. In this essay, we will discuss both the causes and effects on society.

On the other hand, many of the citizens are not choosing the medical field because the scope of science is becoming smaller and the scope of technology is higher due to advancements in every field of life. For example, in many Asian countries like India, the merit of this subject is increasing day by day, and also the study of medical sciences is very costly; many of the poor people cannot afford it

Secondly, it affects our society alarmingly because there is a shortage of doctors, and the lack of hospitals means patients will die due to improper care. However, the new generation is interested in technology, where they work for only four to five hours and gain a handsome money. For instance, in many of the developed countries, people prefer to do trading and online investments, where they earn without any pressure of shift hours, and they also gain a lot of money as compared to doctors working long hours. Many of the people also like to do security jobs.

In my opinion, I believe that we don't have to ignore the medical field just because of the technology; we will have to focus on both subjects, and we also provide better technology of equiments in hospitals where doctors can save their time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both the causes and effects, and your position is clearest in the conclusion: society should not neglect medicine in favour of technology. The discussion of high study costs and students’ attraction to better-paid technology work is relevant. However, the response focuses mainly on medical studies rather than science at university more broadly, and the cause that science has a “smaller scope” is asserted without explanation. Effects are also unevenly developed: a shortage of doctors and inadequate hospital care are identified, but the link between fewer science students and these outcomes needs clearer support. The examples about trading and security jobs do not directly establish why students avoid science. Develop each point with a specific explanation or example and keep the argument focused on the full question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, a paragraph about causes, a paragraph about effects, and a concluding opinion, so the reader can identify its broad structure. However, progression within and between ideas is not consistently clear. “On the other hand” does not signal a contrast with the preceding introduction, while “Secondly” introduces effects without a clear first point in that paragraph. The discussion also shifts from medical studies to technology, trading, and security jobs, making the central line of argument harder to follow. Some links, such as the connection between online investment and the shortage of doctors, are not made explicit. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main point, then explain and support it in a logical order; choose linking phrases for their precise meaning rather than as general transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “advancements,” “shortage of doctors,” “improper care,” and “medical sciences,” which helps communicate the subject. There is also an attempt to use more specific expressions such as “merit” and “shift hours,” although some choices are inaccurate or unnatural in context. Phrases such as “take admission,” “scope … is becoming smaller,” “gain a handsome money,” and “security jobs” are unclear or imprecise, and “a lot of money” is repeated. These choices sometimes make the intended meaning less exact, even when the general point can be understood. Build a more reliable range of collocations for education, careers, and social consequences, and check whether each phrase sounds natural in its sentence.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a subordinate clause beginning “because” and a relative clause in “where they work for only four to five hours.” However, complex structures are not consistently controlled. The opening sentence beginning “Although I believe that” is incomplete, and “we also provide better technology … where doctors can save their time” has an unclear clause structure. There are also errors in agreement and sentence construction, as in “many of the poor people cannot afford it” following a long sentence without clear punctuation, and “we will have to focus on both subjects, and we also provide.” These issues can make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise complete sentences, consistent verb forms, and clear clause boundaries, then proofread punctuation and agreement.

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