Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Barron's Writing · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some parents send their children to preschool when they are three or four years old. Other parents wait until their children are old enough for primary school before they send them to school.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of sending children to preschool at a young age.
Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
A large number of individuals are being attracted to wearing fashionable clothes. This trend is particularly driven by the influence of widespread social media and varying social habits towards appearance. While l this trend may have certain benefits to society, I am one of those who consider this a negative development.
Considering the imperative of being fashionable, social media has been playing a crucial role to influence the general public to adapt the latest fashion. For example, appealing advertisements on the social media platforms are presented in a way that people easily get attracted to the product. Moreover, thanks to the advancement in technology, affordability and accessibility to every product is quite easy.
Since, this growing is relatively destructive. Although dressing well may increase the self esteem and status in the real life, this is leading to more materialism. To explain it more, sometimes just to follow the latest trend, we spend a big chunk of our money that is needed for other basic necessities, we end up with an enormous bills of credit. Furthermore, just for the sake of westernization , we are abandoning cultural roots and identities, because our clothing patterns reveal a lot about our civilization.
In conclusion, while a growing number of people are choosing to wear fashionable clothes with the influence of social media a
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0
The response is significantly off-topic. The prompt asks for a discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of sending children to preschool, but the essay discusses the influence of social media on fashion trends. Consequently, the task is not addressed. Additionally, the response is under the 250-word minimum, which further impacts the score. Because the content does not relate to the prompt, it fails to develop any relevant ideas or provide a position on the actual topic. To improve, ensure you carefully read the prompt before writing and plan your response to address all parts of the question directly.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay is incomplete, ending abruptly in the middle of a sentence. While there is an attempt at paragraphing and some use of cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'Furthermore', the lack of a completed argument and the off-topic nature of the content make the overall progression unclear. The logical flow is disrupted by the fact that the essay does not address the prompt, making it difficult to follow a coherent line of reasoning. To improve, ensure you complete your thoughts, use a wider variety of linking words, and maintain a clear focus on the specific topic provided in the instructions.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for basic communication but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are some awkward collocations, such as 'growing is relatively destructive' and 'enormous bills of credit'. The range of vocabulary is limited, and the essay relies on somewhat repetitive phrasing. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary and collocations. For example, instead of 'big chunk of our money', use 'a significant portion of our income'. Expanding your vocabulary through reading academic texts will help you use more sophisticated and precise language in your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'social media has been playing a crucial role to influence' (should be 'in influencing') and 'we end up with an enormous bills of credit' (should be 'enormous bills'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and proofreading for basic errors. Practicing complex sentence structures like relative clauses and conditional sentences will also help improve your grammatical range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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