Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, many people drink and eat sugary products and it damages persons health and wellbeing. there is a high chance of developing serious health problems like cancer and dibeties whereas in my opinion we need to invest more in those products which contain relative low sugar content and also encourge people to utilize these products.

Different sugary food items like canned and fizzy drinks mainly contain high amount of sugar. it caused high risk of diabeties and cancer in person. Similarly the bakery food items mainly include donuts, cakes and sweeets etc have high sugar content, it causes problem to those individuals who want to lose weight or having any health problem like diabeties, PCOS or athletes. A person having diabeties or any health related problem cannnot drink or eat foods. Old age individuals and especially childrens are at high risk because of weak immune system.

To matigate these challenges and problems we definately move towards low sugar food items. Although these products are safe to use but these are not budget friendly so it is difficult for a person to buy these products because of financial conditions. Manufacturer also contribute major role in it for this many health professionals should take notice to the company owned manufacturer to made products which is safe for person health and affordable. for example if a person having disease so major amount of income spent on his disease and he thought several times before spending on an expensive product. Government should make rules and policies to lower the prices of products having low level of sugar and remove products which causes hazard to health. Make strategies in a way so that diseased person easily get sugar friendly products by making them affordable and cheap for everyone.

In order to conclude I beleive everyone has right to eat and drink budget and health friendly products. In this matter, government should imply policies and ask manufacturer to made more products contain less amount of sugar so that more people buy them in this way the risk of diseases can be lowered.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify health risks associated with sugary products and propose lower-sugar alternatives, government action, and manufacturer responsibility. However, the central question is whether sugary products should be made more expensive, and your position on that specific measure is not clearly stated or consistently argued. You focus instead on making healthier products affordable and removing harmful products, which only partly addresses the proposed price increase. The examples of diabetes, weight loss, and people with limited incomes are relevant, but they are mostly listed rather than explained to show why raising prices would or would not reduce sugar consumption. State your agreement or disagreement directly, then develop reasons and examples that specifically evaluate higher prices.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph describing sugary foods and health concerns, a paragraph proposing solutions, and a conclusion. This gives the reader some sense of organisation. However, progression is weakened because the discussion shifts from the question of raising prices to making low-sugar products cheaper, without clearly connecting these policies. Several ideas are crowded into long sentences, particularly the paragraph beginning “To mitigate these challenges,” and the conclusion largely repeats the proposed policies rather than drawing the argument together. Linking expressions such as “Similarly,” “Although,” and “In order to conclude” help signal relationships, but some transitions feel mechanical or do not clarify the logic. Organise each paragraph around one reason and use clearer links between the price proposal and your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “high sugar content,” “financial conditions,” “manufacturer,” and “policies,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “relative low sugar content,” “sugar friendly products,” and “company owned manufacturer.” Repetition of “products,” “health,” and “problem” also makes the argument less precise. Spelling errors, including “diabeties,” “encourge,” and “beleive,” are noticeable and reduce the accuracy of the vocabulary. Build a more precise set of expressions for discussing pricing and consumption, and check spelling and natural word combinations. This would make your ideas easier to follow without changing their meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast with “Although these products are safe to use” and a reason introduced by “because.” However, complex sentences are often difficult to control, and errors occur frequently enough to interrupt reading. Examples include “it damages persons health,” “it caused high risk,” and “Government should make rules,” where agreement, tense, articles, or possessive forms need attention. Some sentences also run together or lack clear punctuation, especially in the paragraph about manufacturers and government policies. Practise building accurate sentence patterns before extending them: for example, use a clear subject and verb in each clause, and check articles, plural forms, and punctuation. More reliable control would make your reasoning clearer.

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