Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often discussed that how most of the processed food products which contains high levels of sugar are easily accesible to people. There is no doubt that consuming high levels of sugar causes many health issues. While many people suggest that manufactured food and drink products which have high levels of sugar should be made expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar, I strongly disagree with this statement. In my opinion, there are no benefits in increasing the price of such products.

Most of the people are aware of the harmful effects of consuming high levels of sugar but they still have it because it satisfies their cravings. Instead of increasing the price of these processed products, people should focus on learning self-control and develop healthy eating habbits. Increasing the rate of such products is not a long-term solution. For instance, I have a friend who likes chocolates and spend most of her pocket money on buying them. She reduced eating them only when she became aware of the assosiated health problems.

There are many sugary products which are expensive but still people buy them. As a society, we should take steps to aware people about the harmful effects of consuming excessive sugar. Increasing the prices of these products are one of the solutions but it is not the effective one. However, we should start awareness campaigns and explain people about the adverse effects of these products.

In conclusion, it is fine to consume manufactured food and drink products once in a while but one should not make it a habbit. Also, people can try to replace these processed sugary products by consuming products which have natural sugar like fruits or adding artifical sweetners in their drinks, such as tea or coffee. Thus, self-awareness is the best way to reduce rising health concerns in the society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you strongly disagree that sugary products should cost more, and you return to self-control and awareness in the conclusion. The response addresses the question and gives relevant support, including the example of your friend reducing her chocolate consumption after learning about health risks. However, some points are less fully developed. The claim that people buy expensive sugary products does not explain why higher prices would fail to reduce consumption, and the suggestion to use artificial sweeteners is introduced without showing how it supports your argument. Develop the reasoning with clearer cause-and-effect explanations and more directly relevant examples. The stated length requirement is met; eight words copied from the prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Ideas generally progress from your disagreement to personal responsibility and public awareness, and linking expressions such as “For instance,” “However,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. At times, though, connections between claims are not fully clear. For example, “There are many sugary products which are expensive but still people buy them” is not explicitly linked to why a price increase would be ineffective. The repeated focus on awareness and self-control also makes the progression somewhat circular. Make each paragraph develop a distinct reason, and use clearer references and transitions to show how each example supports that reason.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “processed products,” “cravings,” “self-control,” “adverse effects” and “health concerns.” These choices communicate your main ideas, and some less common expressions show an attempt to be precise. However, several word-choice and collocation problems reduce naturalness, such as “take steps to aware people” and “the effective one.” There are also spelling errors, including “accesible,” “habbits,” “assosiated” and “artifical.” These do not prevent understanding, but they limit the accuracy and polish of the vocabulary. Check spelling carefully and learn common combinations such as “raise awareness” and “an effective solution.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession structure beginning “While many people suggest…” and a relative clause in “products which have high levels of sugar.” Most sentences remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “products which contains” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “my friend … spend” and “Increasing the prices … are” also need agreement corrections. There are issues with articles and sentence patterns in “Most of the people” and “explain people about.” To improve, check that verbs agree with their subjects, especially when a long phrase separates them, and review article use and verb patterns. Greater accuracy across these structures would strengthen the response.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.