Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is widely, argued that sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. In my opinion , I completely agree whith this prespective because if it is expensive a lot of poor people will not buying it , and it is an advantage for the governmrnt too.

To begin with , the pricipal reason supporting my stance is that the poor people can not buy the sugary products firstly because they will not spend a lot of money to consume products that may causes many health problems for them , so they will think about their health and their economy . For example , the sugary snacks , if it is more expensive , people will buy and consume the healthy , cheap snacks . Consequently , that will give a less health problems and the people spend less money for their meals , snacks and well being .

Furthermore , another complelling for my view is that the government can benefit from it . This is largely due to the fact that the government spend a lot of many to take care about people who has healths problems like medecins and surgeries . For instance, when a lot of people have a heart attack for example just because of the cheap sugary products , the government will spend money for the medical stuff to take care of all these people who needs surgeries, assistance , meds , and analysis . As a direct reslut , the government will lose a lot of money just because of the sugary products .

In conclusion , I firmly maintain that sugary products should be more expensive , because of the damage they can cause . Ultimatelly , I hope the government will take a point for this and benefit from it .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you agree that sugary products should cost more, and you give two relevant reasons—reducing consumption and lowering government healthcare costs. The examples about choosing cheaper healthy snacks and treating people after heart attacks help connect your points to the topic. However, the first argument focuses mainly on poorer consumers and does not explain how higher prices would reduce sugar consumption across the wider population. The government-cost argument also needs a clearer link between a price increase and fewer health problems; as written, the claim that cheap products cause heart attacks is too direct and general. Develop each reason with a more precise explanation and a realistic example to make the response more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “To begin with” and “Furthermore,” and a conclusion. This makes the main points easy to identify. However, progression within the paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and several links are mechanical or imprecise. For example, “Consequently, that will give a less health problems” does not clearly show how the preceding point leads to the result. The second paragraph moves from government spending to heart attacks and medical treatment without fully explaining the connection to higher prices. Use cohesive devices more selectively, make references such as “that” explicit, and organise each body paragraph around one claim followed by explanation and evidence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “sugary products,” “health problems,” “medical,” and “surgeries,” and the reader can generally understand your intended meaning. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation errors make the writing less precise. Examples include “prespective,” “complelling,” “reslut,” and “take care about people.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “a less health problems” and “a lot of many.” Build a more accurate range for discussing public health and policy, and check spelling and common word partnerships. More precise terms would help you explain the effects of pricing and healthcare costs clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “because,” “when,” and “just because of,” but complex structures are often faulty and errors occur frequently. For example, “if it is expensive a lot of poor people will not buying it” has an incorrect verb form, while “products that may causes” has subject–verb disagreement. There are also errors in articles, plurals, and sentence construction, as in “the poor people,” “a less health problems,” and “the government spend.” Punctuation spacing is inconsistent, and the opening comma in “It is widely, argued” interrupts the sentence. Practise accurate conditional sentences and agreement, then proofread each sentence for verb forms and punctuation.

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