Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, most of the ready made food and drink products containg excessive amount of sugar, which is the root cause to many health concerns. Some people believe that expensive sugary products can influence people to consume less sugar. I completely agree with this and think that more expensive sugar products can reduce the sugar consumption of the people.

One of the main reason why sugary products contribute to health issues is that often they contain excessive amount of sugar than the daily personal sugar requirement. This is because, mainly producers target their sales rather than the nutritional value. As a result, excessive sugary product consumption can causes health issues like obesity, diabetes and dental issues. Also,busy lifestyle, may worsen the the situation due to lack of exercises. Therefore, increasing price of the sugary products may be a good initiative to tackle the health risks they pose.This may directly discourage people to by those products.

Furthermore, more expensive sugary products encourage people to use alternatives to sugary products. For instance, plant based sugary products like dates can use as a alternative for buiscuts and cakes. These products typically contains much low sugar compare to artificial products. Therefore expensive sugary products influence people to use such products. It may reduce the possible health risks. Also local governments should pay their attention to increase the tax of high end sugar products. It can also increase the prices of products and make them unaffordable to buy.

In conclusion, i believe that expensive sugary products can be a good initiative to to discourage people to buy them and it can contribute to more healthier society

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you completely agree that higher prices can reduce sugar consumption, and the conclusion returns to this view. You give relevant reasons, including health risks such as obesity and diabetes, and the possibility of choosing alternatives. These points address the question, but they are not developed equally. The health paragraph explains the risks, yet the link between price increases and changed purchasing habits is asserted rather than supported with a specific example or explanation. The alternatives paragraph also needs clearer evidence: dates are mentioned, but the claim that they contain much less sugar than manufactured products is not qualified. More precise support and fuller development of how pricing changes behaviour would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting reasons, and a conclusion. The progression from health consequences to alternatives is logical, and linking expressions such as “As a result,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “Therefore expensive sugary products influence people to use such products” repeats the preceding claim without explaining the relationship, while “Also local governments…” introduces taxation abruptly. References such as “These products” and “It” could be made more precise. To improve, connect each example explicitly to the central argument and use transitions to show the relationship between ideas, rather than relying mainly on formulaic linkers.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “nutritional value,” “health risks,” “alternatives,” and “tax,” and the reader can generally understand your argument. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “plant based” and “daily personal sugar requirement.” However, the range and control are uneven, with noticeable spelling and word-choice problems: “containg,” “buiscuts,” “exercises” where “exercise” is intended, and “high end sugar products.” Some combinations are unnatural, including “root cause to many health concerns” and “use alternatives to sugary products.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary for pricing and consumer behaviour would also help you express the argument with greater flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “which,” “because,” and “due to,” so there is some structural variety. The main ideas remain understandable, but errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction occur across the response. Examples include “One of the main reason,” “products typically contains,” “can use as a alternative,” and “can causes health issues.” The opening sentence is also a fragment because it begins “Nowadays” and does not form a complete main clause. Punctuation and spacing are inconsistent, and the conclusion contains “to to.” Work on checking subject–verb agreement and ensuring each sentence has a complete, correctly formed clause; this will make your varied structures more reliable.

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