Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many factories produced goods and drinks include lots of sugar, which hamper physical health. Sugary items should be more expensive to make individuals to eat less. Regarding my opinion, I completely agree with this statement because it protects our heart and produce better energy.

To begin with, there are several advantages of eating less sweet items. Firstly, it protects our health. To explain, many people who consume more sweet items are likey to die from heart attack and can have panic attack several times. Secondly, It gives people better energy. Elaborating further, individuals who likes and eat sugary products in daily basis are more lazy to do a small work and they do not feel activeness in their body and always stay in one place without doing any work.

Although, some people need sugary items to consume in health problems such as diabetes to maintain their balance in sugar pressure but, otherwise it is one of the poison to our health and it provides negative effects in our body. To clarify, when people consume high amount of sugar, they gain more weight and after the consumption of sweet products, they will be unable to control the habit of eating sweets because sweet craving is often regarded as hard to control and at last, indivduals will have it.

In conclusion, sugar containing products always affect our both physical and mental health because it makes our face looks dull and feels emotionally drained. From my perspective, we should not consume sweets items more and should not make a habit of sugar which is dangerous for our health in many ways and poison our body daily in daily basis and makes us difficult in our old ages by affecting our health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear in the opening: you agree that sugary products should cost more, and you mention health as the main reason. However, the response only partly addresses the specific proposal. Most of the body explains why sugar may be harmful, rather than showing how higher prices would reduce consumption or considering the likely effects of such a policy. The claims about heart attacks, panic attacks, energy, and diabetes are also asserted without relevant examples or explanation, and the diabetes point is unclear. To strengthen the response, explain the link between price and purchasing choices, develop one or two health arguments with credible examples, and make sure each paragraph supports your position on taxation or pricing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “Firstly,” and “Secondly” help signal the order of points. However, progression is limited because the paragraphs repeat the general claim that sugar harms health, while the central question of making products more expensive is not carried through. Some links are awkward or unclear: “Although” begins a paragraph without a clear contrasting main clause, and “but, otherwise” makes the relationship between the ideas difficult to follow. The conclusion also repeats earlier claims rather than drawing the argument together. Organise each paragraph around one distinct reason and use clearer links between claim, explanation, and example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “consume,” “heart attack,” “craving,” and “emotionally drained,” so the reader can identify the subject of your argument. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “sugar pressure,” “better energy,” “stay in one place,” and “poison to our health”; repeated use of “sweet items” and “sugary products” also reduces precision. There are spelling and word-form slips such as “likey” and “indivduals.” Build a more precise set of terms for the topic, such as “sugar intake,” “added sugar,” “obesity,” and “a price increase,” and check collocations and spelling during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a relative clause in “people who consume more sweet items” and a conditional structure beginning “when people consume high amount of sugar.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some ideas harder to understand. For example, “which hamper physical health” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “individuals who likes” and “in daily basis” show errors in agreement and sentence patterns. The long sentence beginning “To clarify” joins several ideas without clear control, and punctuation around “Although” and “but” is problematic. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries, then use shorter sentences to express each point clearly before combining ideas.

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