Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

High sugar level is introduced in many manufactured food and drink products.They are very hazadorous for our health and cause many diseases like diabetes and dental issues.

However, i totally disagree with this statement that sugar products will be expensive to encourage people to comsume less sugar because sometimes we need sugary products in diet as well to maintain our sugar level.

For example,sometime people suffered with low-sugar level results in very serious condition like death may occur.If sugar get expensive then dextrose,glucose which is essential for low-sugar patient become expensive.It is not possible for needy people to buy those products to recover their conditions.If sugary products will costly it become very difficult for ordianry people to buy product.

Morover, instead of high rate of sugary products some other strategies should be implemented to encourage people to consume low sugar.

For instance, people should be aware by social media platform and seminars free of cost should be conducted for public to give knowledge about drawbacks of high sugar consumption.

Additionally, in educational institutes sugary items like candies, chocolates sale should be reduce to prevent children from tooth decaying and other tooth problems.

It is the responsibilty of healthcare team is to guide the people about high sugar problems.However, government should implement rules for manufacturer by using consireable amount of sugar in food and drink items.

Furthermore, if these products have normal range of sugar it will not cause harm to individuals.So, proper formula is formulated by nutrionist and healthcare team to lower sugar consumption in all type of aged people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you disagree with making sugary products more expensive, and you offer alternatives such as public education, limiting sales in schools, and regulating manufacturers’ sugar content. These points address the question and are relevant. The example about people with low blood sugar gives a reason for your view, but it focuses mainly on glucose and dextrose used for treatment rather than the manufactured products targeted by the proposal, so the connection needs clearer explanation. Some other ideas, especially the claim that normal sugar levels will prevent harm, are asserted rather than supported. To strengthen the response, explain how your alternatives would reduce consumption and acknowledge or answer the argument that higher prices could discourage excessive intake.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: you state your view, give a reason, and then present several alternatives. Paragraph breaks help distinguish these stages, and signposts such as “For example,” “Additionally,” and “Furthermore” make the sequence visible. However, the progression between points is sometimes mechanical, and the relationship between the low-blood-sugar example and the policy question is not fully clear. The final paragraph introduces a recommendation about nutritionists without clearly linking it to the earlier proposals. Some references, such as “these products,” could also be more precise. Group related alternatives into a focused paragraph and use linking sentences to show how each supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufactured food and drink products,” “low-sugar patient,” “sugar consumption,” and “healthcare team,” so the reader can follow the subject. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “strategies should be implemented.” However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, including “hazadorous,” “comsume,” “ordianry,” and “consireable.” Some combinations are unnatural or imprecise, such as “people should be aware by social media platform” and “tooth decaying.” These errors do not prevent understanding, but they limit precision and fluency. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations for discussing health, public awareness, and government regulation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If sugar get expensive…” and a concluding sentence beginning “Furthermore, if these products have normal range of sugar…”. This shows an effort to express cause and effect. However, some errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction make parts of the response awkward. For example, “If sugar get expensive” needs a correctly formed conditional, while “sugary items … sale should be reduce” has problems with the passive construction and agreement. The opening also joins two sentences without a space after the full stop. Practise building accurate conditional and passive sentences, and proofread each sentence for subject–verb agreement and articles.

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