Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays,there are mary processed foods and soft drinks hold excessive level of suger, for that reason people are facing different kinds of health issues. To discourage the people to consume more sugary products, it's price should be more expensive. I starongly agree this sataement.

First of all, suger is the main ingredient for lots of food, that means without suger we can't manufacture very essentials daily foods like breads,cookies and different kinds of bevarage. So that, before increase to the sugary foods price, suger price should be increased. and that is why all sugary products will be more costly and people are not buying these foods. Secondly, if we increase the price of these sugary foods and bevarages, consumption of these product going down. How can this price hike happen suddenly, Government can impose more tex on suger, as well as sugary product, such as premium sweets, cocolates and others baby product which containts more suger , not on the necessary one.

Moreover, Suger is the basic component of lots of disases. For children it can casues some dental issues and for middle age people it casues diabetes. As well as doctor says, if anyone want to make distance from cancer he should make give up the sugar.

In conclusion, it can be said that only increase the sugary products price can't prevent this long time purchasing behaviour. Goverment andf NGOs should come forward and arranage some awareness program that can up to date people about the wrost effect of sugary foods.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that sugary products should cost more, and you give relevant reasons, including reduced consumption and health risks such as dental problems and diabetes. You also suggest taxation and public-awareness programmes, so the response addresses the main question and offers a related qualification in the conclusion: price increases alone may not change long-term habits. However, some points are not fully explained. For example, the claim that sugar is essential to everyday foods does not clearly support your argument for higher prices, and the link between sugar and cancer is asserted without support. Develop each reason with a clearer explanation or a specific example, and make the relationship between taxation, prices, and reduced consumption more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph about pricing, a paragraph about health effects, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “Secondly,” and “Moreover” help signal the direction of the argument. However, progression is uneven: the first body paragraph moves from sugar as an ingredient to taxation and then to consumer behaviour without clearly connecting each step. Some linking is mechanical, and “So that” and “and that is why” do not create clear relationships between the ideas. The conclusion introduces awareness programmes but does not fully connect them to the earlier argument. Use topic sentences and clearer references to show how each supporting point advances your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “processed foods,” “consumption,” “impose more tax,” “dental issues,” and “diabetes,” which helps communicate the subject. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the response harder to read, such as “suger,” “bevarage,” “tex,” and “wrost.” Some phrases are also imprecise or unnatural, including “make distance from cancer” and “necessary one.” Aim to use accurate collocations and vary repeated terms such as “sugary foods” and “products.” Proofreading spelling and choosing more precise expressions would make your argument clearer and more appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional idea in “if we increase the price … consumption … going down” and a relative clause in “program that can up to date people.” However, sentence structures are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation sometimes make meaning difficult to follow. For example, “consumption of these product going down” needs a finite verb and plural agreement, while “it's price should be” uses the wrong form of the possessive pronoun. Several sentences also join clauses awkwardly, such as “So that, before increase …”. Practise building complete clauses with accurate subject–verb patterns, and check punctuation and sentence boundaries during revision.

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