Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In some countries many companies manufactured different kind of items for selling such as sweets and cake. It also manufacturing food and drink products which contain high levels of sugars in it. Something normal range of sugar in our diet is very important for our health. Excess use of sugar in our diet is dangerous for our health and also cause diseases. However, it contain differennt types of fatty acid and surcose bond which are dissolved in water.

Overall, many companies use sugar to make their product better in taste and smell. It is possible by high sugar level. Instead of all the items are filled with sugar and people always consume sugar product more than other items in their food that is tasteless in diet. Excessive consumption of sugar also damage the health of individual.

Moreover, international companies also avoid the use of sugar in their porduct. Small amount of sugar can be used in their items to develop taste. The price of their sweets is very cheap and everyone buy it easily. Many individuals like this sweets to eat, because they know they are harmful for the health. For instance, one of my close friends eats a lot of sweets when they see the bakery in front of him. Sometimes they eat sugar items in large amount and their health damage due to overeating. After eating this kind of sugars and they suffered with diabetes and some other dangerous diseases.

In conclusion, governments and companies should take control on sugars items. When this items are in normal control peolpe live their better life and they get rid off from the diseases. Second one is they increases the prices of the sugars that,s citizen do not buy it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify relevant concerns about sugar and health, and your example about a friend who eats sweets helps illustrate excessive consumption. However, the central question is whether sugary products should be made more expensive, and your position is not consistently explained. The conclusion says prices should increase, but earlier you note that sweets are cheap and discuss companies reducing sugar without clearly connecting these points to the proposed price rise. The claim that companies should control sugar is also not developed into a clear reason for or against higher prices. To strengthen the response, state your agreement or disagreement directly in the introduction and develop two focused reasons, explaining how higher prices could change purchasing habits and acknowledging any likely drawbacks.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has separate paragraphs for an introduction, supporting points and a conclusion, so there is some organisation. However, the progression between ideas is difficult to follow, and several linking expressions do not show a clear relationship. For example, “Overall” introduces another point rather than a summary, while “Moreover” leads into a claim about international companies that is not clearly connected to the previous paragraph. The final “Second one” is also unclear because no first point is identified. References such as “this items” and “they” make it harder to tell which products or people are meant. Use a clearer sequence—position, reason one, reason two, conclusion—and connect each paragraph explicitly to the question of price increases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “high levels of sugars,” “excessive consumption,” “harmful” and “diabetes,” which helps communicate the topic. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, sometimes making the meaning unclear. Phrases such as “items for selling,” “sugar items,” and “their health damage” are not natural ways to express these ideas. There are also spelling errors, including “differennt,” “surcose,” “porduct” and “peolpe.” Aim to use precise topic vocabulary and check spelling carefully. For example, refer consistently to “sugary products” or “sugar-rich foods,” and use natural phrases such as “increase the price” and “develop health problems.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and the reader can generally identify the main topic. However, the range is limited, and errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement and articles occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to understand. For example, “It also manufacturing food and drink products” lacks a correctly formed verb, while “Excessive consumption of sugar also damage” has a subject–verb agreement error. The sentence beginning “After eating this kind of sugars” is incomplete, and “When this items are in normal control” has problems with agreement and structure. Practise building accurate subject–verb sentences first, then combine related ideas with clauses such as “because” or “which.” Check each sentence for a clear subject and complete verb.

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