Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

A lot of manufactured food and drink sugar content is very high, which leads to many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to motivate individuals to take less sugar. I don't agree with the statement, as this does not gurantee reduced heath problems.

On the one hand, it is understandable why some individuals would support this view. Firstly, increasing the price will discourage excessive intake of sugary product. This will make it financially difficult for most people to afford sugary products, thereby reducing the amount of sugar they consume daily. Making sugary product expensive will also prevent health problems, as people will consume less sugar, which will prevent diabetes, eye issues and possible death. Moreover, this will reduce government health care expense on tackling sugar related heath problems, as funding the treatment of this illnesses will cost the government a lot of money. Thus,introducing measures like price increse will not only control, but also prevent financial expenses.

On the other hand, high cost of sugary products places financial burden on individuals, as many people cannot afford the expensive products, which will make then spend more than they planned for these items. Additionally, higher prices does not eliminate health problems. This is because people who have the money will purchase these products and still suffer same health problems. Some people might derive other means to get sugar, which cannot be regulated by the government. What's more, businesses will be affected negatively, as their sales will drop overtime if they are forced to increase their prices. As a result, many people will lose their jobs, and the economy will also be affected.

In conclusion, even though sugary products contribute to health challenges, increasing the price of sugary products does not eliminate the health problems it causes, there are other ways to encourage less sugar intake.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you disagree that making sugary products more expensive is an effective solution. You also consider both the proposed benefit and possible drawbacks, including reduced consumption, pressure on household budgets, continued purchases by wealthier consumers, and effects on businesses. However, the discussion does not fully develop some of these points. For example, the claims that higher prices could prevent “eye issues and possible death” and cause job losses are asserted rather than supported with explanation or a relevant example. The conclusion repeats your view but only briefly mentions that “there are other ways” without identifying them. Develop the reasoning and support key claims to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall structure, with an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” make the shift between arguments easy to follow, and ideas within each paragraph are generally grouped by topic. Some connections, however, feel mechanical or unclear. In the first body paragraph, several sentences repeat the idea that higher prices reduce consumption and prevent health problems, while “Thus” introduces a conclusion about financial expenses that is not fully connected to the preceding point. The final sentence also joins two claims with a comma, weakening the relationship between them. Use clearer links between cause and consequence, and avoid repeating the same point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “excessive intake,” “financial burden,” “regulated,” and “health challenges.” These choices help communicate the main arguments, and the meaning is generally clear. However, there are several inaccurate or awkward word choices and collocations, such as “take less sugar,” “financially difficult … to afford,” “health care expense,” and “derive other means.” Spelling errors, including “gurantee,” “heath,” and “increse,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural topic-specific phrasing and check spelling carefully. For instance, use “consume less sugar,” “healthcare costs,” and “find other ways to obtain sugar” to express your ideas more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “as,” “which,” and “thereby,” and most of the argument remains understandable. Some grammatical errors occur, particularly with agreement, plurals, and sentence boundaries. Examples include “higher prices does not eliminate” (the plural subject requires “do not”), “these illnesses” after “this,” and “will make then spend” where the pronoun should be “them.” The final sentence is a comma splice: “increasing the price … does not eliminate the health problems it causes, there are other ways…” Separate the ideas with a full stop or use a suitable conjunction. Reviewing agreement and punctuation would improve control while preserving your range of sentence structures.

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