Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Numerious food and drink items constitute of high levels of sugar, which can be the reason for some health problem hence we should raise the prices of sugar products to make people consume less sugar. I strongly disagree with this statement as people are addicted to sugar and making sugar expensive will only result in people spending more money on sugar items, instead of raising the price they should promote healthy alternatives of sugar.

We can all agree with the fact that sugar is injurious to health but we should also know that most people consume sugar daily hence making them addicted to sugar so it's not easy for them to quit sugar instantly. Even if we raise sugar price people won't quit eating sugar items instead it would result on them spending more money on sugar and it could be hard for them to manage their other expenses like rent and grocceries.

Raising sugar prices is not a solution. Instead it could create many problems like people protesting against the government which implemented this law, so instead of raising sugar prices we should teach people how they can get rid of their addiction, not by instant but gradually. The authorities should promote healthy alternatives to sugar like honey, gur, etc. As honey has no downsides and gur is way better than sugar.

In conclusion, raising sugar price won't result on people consuming less sugar, it might cause more problems rather than fixing one problem. Instead the heads should work towards promoting healthy alternatives of sugar.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you disagree with making sugary products more expensive, and you maintain that view in the conclusion. You also give relevant reasons, including that consumers may continue buying sugar and that price rises could put pressure on household budgets. However, some parts of the task are addressed more fully than others. The claim that people are “addicted to sugar” is asserted rather than supported with an example or explanation, and the suggestion to promote honey and gur is not convincingly linked to reducing sugar consumption; the claim that honey has “no downsides” is also too absolute. Develop these points with specific evidence or a realistic example, and explain more clearly how your proposed alternatives would work.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present reasons and alternatives, and a conclusion restates your position. Ideas generally follow a sensible order, and linking phrases such as “Instead” and “In conclusion” help signal the argument. However, connections between some claims are not fully explained. For example, the move from higher prices to protests is abrupt, and the relationship between sugar addiction and household expenses could be developed more clearly. Repetition of “raising sugar prices” and “instead” also makes cohesion somewhat mechanical. Use clearer references and vary transitions, while ensuring each paragraph develops one main point through explanation and an example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “consume,” “addicted,” “alternatives,” and “authorities,” so your meaning is generally understandable. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “injurious to health.” However, several word-choice and collocation errors reduce precision: “Numerious” is misspelled, “items constitute of” is unnatural, and “sugar products” is less precise than “sugary products.” “Grocceries” is also misspelled, while “heads” is unclear in “the heads should work.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and a more consistent formal register. For instance, describe products as “containing high levels of sugar” and refer specifically to “government officials” or “policymakers.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “as” and “which,” and your main argument remains understandable. Some grammatical errors occur, particularly in sentence construction and prepositions. For example, “which can be the reason for some health problem” has awkward clause structure and singular/plural agreement, while “it could result on them spending” uses an incorrect preposition. The opening sentence also joins several ideas with commas, making the structure difficult to follow. In “not by instant but gradually,” the contrast is not grammatically formed. Improve control by separating long sentences, checking agreement and prepositions, and using complete, parallel constructions when contrasting ideas.

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