Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

This has been under the debate for long time that many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of added sugar, which cause many type of health problems and if consumed in excess then lead to serious illness. It has been under consideration to increase the prices of sugary products or to implement sugar tax and discourage the use of sugar products. In this essay we will discuss the possible outcomes of consuming sugar and what should be done to prevent the society from health problems linked to sugar products.

Most of the manufacturer of sugar food and drink use high quantity of sugar for the taste and that sugar consumption lead to the sugar addiction such as in children if they eat chocolates and candies they have sugar rush and they become addictied to it which thus results in the bad oral hygiene and carious tooth resulting in the loss of teeth at an early age other than that; consuming high quantities of sugar results in diabetes. As all the fizzy drinks and juices contain high level of sugar consuming in greater quantity is always bad.

Some governments consider imposing sugar tax or raising the sugar products prices to encourage people to consume less sugar and protect people from the growing health related issues but this not the appropriate way to control the sugar consumption instead there should be educational campaign for children and as well as for parents to limit the use to sugar product as the excess of anything is not good for the health.

In conclusion, the sugary food and drink manufacturer should use the high quality of sugar and thus increase the quantity as it is a whole big industry sho it should not be quit. Also people should play their role as well.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify relevant health concerns, including diabetes and dental problems, and you state that education is preferable to raising prices. However, the response only partially addresses the central question: your position on whether sugary products should be made more expensive is not consistently clear. The third paragraph rejects a sugar tax, but the conclusion then says manufacturers should use “high quality of sugar” and increase its quantity, which conflicts with the health concerns and does not clearly answer the question. The examples about children and fizzy drinks are relevant, but their effects are asserted rather than explained or supported. Develop a consistent position and explain why your proposed approach would be more effective than a price increase. The response meets the required length; 10 words copied from the task prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. This gives the reader some organisation, and phrases such as “Some governments consider” signal a shift to the policy discussion. However, there is no clear progression from the health effects to a developed argument about pricing, and the conclusion contradicts the position in the preceding paragraph. Linking is often mechanical or unclear: “other than that” introduces another effect awkwardly, while the long sentence beginning “Most of the manufacturer” combines several ideas without clear boundaries. Improve progression by giving each paragraph one main purpose, using clear links between claims and explanations, and ensuring the conclusion restates the same position established in the introduction.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a relevant set of topic words, including “sugar tax,” “consumption,” “diabetes,” “oral hygiene” and “health-related issues,” so the reader can follow the general subject. However, the range is limited and several noticeable word-choice, collocation and spelling errors make parts difficult to interpret. Examples include “sugar food and drink,” “sugar rush” used to support a claim about addiction, “carious tooth,” and “high quality of sugar.” “Addictied” and “sho” are also misspelled. Aim for precise, natural combinations and avoid claims whose wording does not accurately express the intended meaning. For instance, use “sugar-sweetened products” and “tooth decay,” and describe the policy as “raising the price of sugary products.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt longer sentences and subordinate clauses, for example, “Some governments consider imposing sugar tax or raising the sugar products prices to encourage people…” This shows an effort to express relationships between ideas, but complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some passages hard to follow. Examples include “This has been under the debate for long time,” “which cause many type,” and “consuming in greater quantity is always bad.” There are also problems with articles, plurals, agreement and sentence boundaries. The final paragraph’s opening sentence is especially difficult to interpret because its clauses do not form a clear grammatical relationship. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then build longer sentences with controlled clauses and check agreement, articles and punctuation.

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