Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

High level of sugar in numerous processed food and drink products has been a major topic of discussion among individuals due to its danger to health. Some people think that the consumption of sugary food can be reduce by making the products more expensive, I disagree to this view because it can also pose a great effect on our health. However the government has a role to play to regulate its intake.

Firstly, the increment in the price of sugary goods can have an effects on our general wellbeing and can make it difficult for individuals to meet up with their daily nutritional need of glucose. For instance, a person who is into building and construction needs sugar to function, if such a person cannot afford to buy these foods due to its high price, they might not have the strength and capacity to carry out their task. Also an individual diagnosed with hypoglycemia who is not financial buoyant might go into an unconscious state when they cannot afford these products. Secondly it will affect the economy and reduce the amount of revenue generated in the country as producer will have to compete to make sales.

For the government, firstly they can provide funds in setting organizations that can educate the public on the dangers of excessive sugar intake. For example by creating awareness on diabetes and the damages it does to the body. Secondly they should place a strict monitoring and control on manufacturing to reduce the amount of servings per grams. If these measures are effectively put in order it will regulate the amount consumed by an individuals.

In conclusion, processed sugar should be made available and accessible to all, although the government should set up agencies to provide health educations, and also ensure that producer adhere to controlling the portion given to consumers.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you disagree with making sugary products more expensive and favour government education and regulation instead. You address the health concern and give relevant examples, including people doing physical work and someone with hypoglycaemia. However, the response does not fully explain why higher prices would harm general wellbeing, and the claim that they would reduce national revenue is asserted rather than supported. The examples also need more careful development: people who need glucose do not necessarily need sugary manufactured products specifically. To strengthen the argument, explain the likely effects of price increases on consumption and compare these with your proposed measures, while qualifying claims that apply only in particular circumstances.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, moving from your position to reasons and then to government measures and a conclusion. Paragraphing helps the reader follow this progression, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” make the organisation explicit. However, some links are mechanical, and the relationship between ideas is not always clear. For example, the opening says higher prices can affect wellbeing, but the following examples do not clearly establish that this is a general consequence. The point about producers competing to make sales also appears abruptly. Use transitions that show cause and contrast, and make each paragraph develop one connected line of reasoning. Clearer references to the specific products or measures would also improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “processed food,” “excessive sugar intake,” “hypoglycemia,” “diabetes,” and “manufacturing.” These choices make the subject clear, and you attempt more formal expressions such as “revenue generated” and “strict monitoring and control.” Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, however, as in “meet up with their daily nutritional need of glucose,” “financial buoyant,” and “health educations.” “Increment in the price” is understandable but less natural than a standard phrase for a price rise. Aim for precise, idiomatic combinations and check word forms and singular/plural use. The meaning remains generally clear, but more consistent control would make the argument sound more fluent and formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if such a person cannot afford to buy these foods” and a concluding clause beginning “although.” Meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors remain. Examples include “can be reduce” instead of “can be reduced,” “can have an effects,” and “producer will have to compete,” where agreement or number needs correction. In “If these measures are effectively put in order it will regulate,” the pronoun reference and clause punctuation are unclear; a comma after the introductory clause and a plural subject would help. Review verb forms, subject–verb agreement, articles, and plural nouns, and proofread longer sentences for punctuation. More accurate control of these patterns would strengthen the range you already attempt.

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